Lillie

Contemplating motherhood – life with a daughter

Before becoming a Mum I used to dream of having children from a young age.  I always wanted at least one of each but I knew I wanted a daughter first.  Don’t ask me why because I don’t know.  Whenever I thought of myself as a Mum, it always began with life with a daughter.  Perhaps because I grew up having such a close bond with my own Mum, it was something I wished for my future too.

Life with a daughter

Lillie

Until you have one of each gender you really don’t notice just how different they can be.  Lillie has been Miss Independence and extremely tenacious from the word go, like Mother, like Daughter in that regard.  When she was little it used to drive me to distraction but the older she gets the more I admire her for it.  She is always happy to make her own decisions and stand by them, even if it means doing something alone.  She knows what she wants and she will do it.  The boys care more about what others think and have a need to ‘fit in’.

Senior School

Senior School

Now that Lillie has moved to senior school it feels like she has found her place.  She is happy in school, has made lots of new friends and joined clubs.  She isn’t afraid to volunteer for activities which are a little out of her comfort zone or trying new things.  This was the time in her life that I was most worried about but she has shown me what an amazing and resilient young lady she is.

Future Prom Nights

Life with a daughter

This has given me the chance to relax a little and look to her future, to the events that as a Mother will mean the world.  When I was at Senior School, many, many years ago we didn’t have proms but today they are the norm and in no time at all I know we will be celebrating Lillie’s first prom.  Each year I watch as friends children celebrate this rite of passage as they come of age. I watch in awe as these young girls are transformed into beautiful swans as they don their stunning prom dresses and think, one day that will be Lillie.  Being of such slight build I have often asked in my mind “how will we find a prom dress to suit you” but I guess we have a few more years growth so her shape will no doubt change.

The bit I am dreading

I don’t even want to think about the clubbing years when I think back to the minuscule clothes that I wore myself, I won’t have a leg to stand on when I tell her “you’re not going out in that”. The clock watching until she is safely home tucked up in bed or the nights where she stays at friends, I don’t know which will be worse?!

Being the role model

Role Model

What I have to keep reminding myself as the mother of a daughter is how similar to me she is and that I turned out okay (I think) and for now she looks up to me as a role model.  As a Mum, I try to show my children that it’s good to have fun and let your hair down but to always be safe and show kindness and consideration for others.

Will she marry and have children?

Lillie

I’d like to think that one day Lillie will marry and have children of her own.  I love the idea of going wedding dress shopping with her as I have no doubt she will make a beautiful bridge and I have dreams of wedding photo sharing with a look of pride on my face.  Perhaps one day?

So far, Lillie tells me she probably won’t have children, she thinks she may adopt as she doesn’t like the idea of childbirth.  Whatever her journey to motherhood I really hope she tries it at least with one child as the one thing which everyone agrees on is how brilliant Lillie is with young children, she has patience and softness with them which makes my heart melt.

Pride, always

Lillie

Whatever Lillie’s future holds, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will always be proud of her.  Already she is one of my best friends, she knows how to make me laugh or how to pick me up when I am down.  She works hard and has a determination which will see her succeed.  Her future is bright and I will be right there with a beaming smile on my face to watch it.

Do you dream of your children’s futures?

 

 

19 Comments

  • Lucy Clarke

    November 19, 2019 at 1:38 pm

    What a beautiful post! <3

    1. Sabina Green

      November 19, 2019 at 1:44 pm

      Thank you Lucy, I think after spending a lovely evening out with Lillie yesterday it just got me thinking x

  • Yaya

    November 20, 2019 at 2:01 pm

    This is such a lovely post – you can tell how much you truly love and appreciate your daughter! I find with children there is so much to be proud of but we all have those things we dread x

    1. Sabina Green

      November 21, 2019 at 12:57 pm

      Thank you, I’m pleased you like it. It’s funny how easy it is to write a post when you have a person in your mind x

  • Talya Stone

    November 20, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    Oh my goodness I am dreading that clubbing bit too! Do they even do that these days?!!! Literally living in fear as a mum to a daughter lol.

    1. Sabina Green

      November 21, 2019 at 12:57 pm

      Yes as far as I’m aware they do, that and the house parties. I just want to skip those bits x

  • Newcastle FamilyLife

    November 20, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    My eldest has just left school and went to sixth form, she had her prom in the summer and she had the best time . x

    1. Sabina Green

      November 21, 2019 at 12:58 pm

      They look so grown up when they go to prom don’t they? x

  • Lyndsey O’Halloran

    November 20, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    What a lovely post. I have a daughter myself so it was an interesting read.

    1. Sabina Green

      November 21, 2019 at 12:58 pm

      Thank you, it came from the heart x

  • Pati Robins

    November 21, 2019 at 8:03 am

    this post have hit hard here ! i can so relate to your hopes and worries ,i also have a daughter and i hope she will grow up to be a great human x

    1. Sabina Green

      November 21, 2019 at 1:00 pm

      I am sure that with the right love and guidance from us well-meaning Mums our daughters will be formidable x

  • Sarah Howe

    November 21, 2019 at 5:23 pm

    I love sitting back and thinking like this about my girls. You just wonder what path they will take and will they be like you? Lovely post x

    1. Sabina Green

      November 22, 2019 at 12:10 pm

      Thank you, it’s so easy to write about your children, isn’t it x

  • Jenni

    November 22, 2019 at 7:52 am

    What a beautiful post! I have two boys, but they are both so different it sometimes feels like I have ‘one of each’, haha. I do think a lot about their futures too.

    1. Sabina Green

      November 22, 2019 at 12:09 pm

      Thank you, I know what you mean. We have three boys as well as Lillie and the boys are all very different too. I often dream about what they will be like in the future x

  • Anosa

    November 24, 2019 at 4:53 pm

    Awww Lille sounds so mature and the clubbing days will come and go, my mum was scared when I started going out in skimpy clothes.

    1. Sabina Green

      November 25, 2019 at 2:12 pm

      Yes, I think she is quite mature if she didn’t remind me so much of me I might not be worried about her clubbing days so much 😉

  • Fashion advice from a 1 year old? – Mummy Matters

    March 8, 2020 at 1:07 pm

    […] not I agreed with her choice and felt that she had chosen the better item of clothing.  Now that Lillie is approaching her teens she is a fantastic shopping partner and she will often tell me now if she thinks I look nice in […]

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