A new strategy . . .
If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!
I don’t actually know who originally said that but its true you know. I am currently trying to find new ways of dealing with Little Bean’s behaviour as it is spiraling out of control. In the past couple of weeks she has developed some raging temper tantrums. I hate to say it but she gets it from me. I never had them as a child but as an adult it takes a lot to push my buttons but when you do its advisable to stand back. It is not something i am proud of and it is something i am improving on over time.
In the past when Little Bean has launched into tantrums, she would shout at me, i would shout louder and so it would continue until we were both upset, but for me the upsetting reality is that Jelly Bean doesn’t even flinch when i shout, so clearly i do it too much. Today Little Bean had perhaps her worst tantrum to date. She was about to go out with Daddy, Curly and Beanie Boy but she was being persistently naughty and deliberately ignoring instructions. I suggested to Hubby that she stay behind with me and Jelly Bean. We knew she wouldn’t like it but we needed to make a stand and stop her doing something she enjoyed. She was waaay beyond angry at this decision, she was yelling that it was all my fault because i am mean and horrible, she wanted to be with Daddy. Daddy took her to her room and told her to calm down then he left. This time rather than shouting at her to stop the kicking, banging, screaming and shouting i decided to try somethin different. I used the voice recorder on my phone and recorded her tantrum then when she stopped to gather breath i played the recording out loud. She stopped crying altogether and just listened to it. At the end i asked her what she thought to how she sounded and she said she sounded silly. At this point Jelly Bean also began to cry and i told her that it was because her tantrum had frightened him. She started to calm down immediately and sat next to me on the sofa so i pulled her in close for a cuddle and suggested she hold Jelly Bean and cuddle him to say sorry . . . 20 minutes later she is still holding him and every now and then she kisses his head and tells him “i am so sorry i frightened you”. This new tactic worked well today but i am sure it would be a different story on a different day.
How do you/did you deal with your child’s temper tantrums?