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Suddenly feeling sad . . .

Today I took the plunge and finally took Baby Bean to a Messy Play session (I’ve been saying we go for the last 6 months) and she absolutely loved it, she got soaked through to her skin, covered in paint and even ate some rice krispies!? But I don’t care because she had a fantastic time and that makes me sooo happy. 

But whilst at Messy Play I saw a mummy who had a little girl around the same time as me and was pleased (for her) to see that she was heavily pregnant again. Then later in the day whilst doing the food shop I ran into another Mummy who had a little girl at the same time as me and yes, you guessed it – she was heavily pregnant too. In the past week I have spoken to a number of friends who are now pregnant and due around the same time as the baby that I recently lost and it made me feel really sad. I totally understand that things happen for a reason and I am in no way ungrateful for the beautiful little girl I have been blessed with but I would REALLY like to be a Mummy again and provide Baby Bean with a playmate close to her age and the age gap is just getting further and further apart. I just feel like everywhere I turn at the moment there are bumps and new babies and I just wish it was me. 

Sometimes I think that maybe I was only supposed to have the one baby but for as long as I can remember I have dreamed of having 3 children, Curly (stepson) makes child no 1 and Baby Bean makes no 2 – perhaps I’m asking for too much – I have 2 gorgeous children who are very loving, helpful and provide me laughs in abundance but I still ache for just one more please.

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