Not what I wanted to hear!

image I have just been to pick up Little Bean from pre-school and was met my her key worker who told me “we have had a serious incident with Little Bean today, she lost it at a couple of girls, pulled one girls hair, grabbed another girls cheeks and scratched them quite badly and was just about to hit another girl but we managed to stop her in time”. I could have cried as this is not behaviour that I want to hear about from my little girl.

When we got home I sat Little Bean down and asked her what sort of day she’d had, had anything happened. Little Bean replied that she’d had a good day and that nothing had happened. I asked her what she thought her key worker might have told me about and again she said nothing so then I tried the direct approach and asked if she had been mean to anyone at school today. Again she said no so then I told her what her key worker had told me. Immediately her face dropped and she said that she had done those things. I told her that I was disappointed that she hadn’t admitted this to me in the first place but that I was really upset to hear that she had been mean to other girls at school. I asked what had happened to make her so angry with the other girls but all she would say was “I don’t know” and when I asked her why she had hurt the other girls she just replied with “because I did”.

Have you experienced this with your children before? How do you handle it because I’m lost?

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6 thoughts on “Not what I wanted to hear!”

  1. Oh you poor thing, I’m so sorry to hear that and I’m sure it will pass, who knows what the others said or did to work her up like that.
    Seeing as this is a first I’d not go too hard on her, it may still come out why she got so angry over the next few days.
    Big hugs to you x

  2. Be gentle on both her and yourself. This is the first time and she wouldn’t have lashed out without provocation I’m sure. Focus on all the wonderful things she does do and has done today, she is probably feeling very frightened by her own behaviour and needs you on her side.

    • Thank you for your comment – unfortunately there was no provocation and today has shown the same behaviour again today without provocation. She clearly has issues at the moment but tomorrow we will be spending some alone time together so hopefully I will have a good opportunity to talk to her.

  3. It’s not exactly the same but I wrote recently about my son biting one of his pre-school workers (hope you don’t mind the link?) But all I can say is that all you can do is quietly address the behaviour, don’t get cross, just explain why she shouldn’t do it and then leave it alone. Each time it occurs, try and do the same. If you make an issue of it, I think it just sensationalises it and makes it more of a big deal. It’s horrible I know but most children do similar things at some point, as much as it kills us as parents!

    • In the last week I have really made an effort to not make too much of it when she hasn’t been her best and instead have lavished her with cuddles and kisses and telling her how much I love her etc etc and things have improved massively. Heading on over to read your post now 🙂

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