How To Find Yourself Again When You Are A Mum
You eagerly anticipated being a parent throughout your entire pregnancy. You knew you were going to be a mother regardless of how wonderful or dreadful your pregnancy was, whether you were thrilled or afraid. Perhaps you imagined wearing matching “mommy and me” clothing or having a baby cuddle up to you as you slept. You might have also imagined pulling out your top-of-the-line jogging stroller and returning to your usual routine, but this time with a few more pauses so that everyone might admire your adorable bundle. If we are being totally honest, hardly one really talks about what the postpartum period looks like, and that sets up a lot of new parents for anger and disappointment in those early weeks and months.
Newborns actually do more than just eat, sleep, and poop, however they do all three frequently. And your body won’t simply recover. even if you leave the hospital wearing the jeans you wore before getting pregnant.
While being a new mother is wonderful, there are times when you long to return to your pre-baby self. Even though you love every aspect of being a mother (sleeping through the night would be good, however), there are times when you yearn to return to the person you were before giving birth to your child.
Losing Your Identity
When you become a mother, it’s simple to lose yourself. The demands of motherhood are after all numerous and never-ending, ranging from restless nights, diaper changes, and supper preparation to carpooling, helping with homework, and running errands. And when it comes to housework, just doing the laundry might take up a mother’s entire day.
There are doctor’s appointments to arrange and attend, volunteer opportunities at school events, mouths to feed, cuts to kiss, and a lot more. Being a mom gives little time for anything else, especially for oneself, so it’s understandable. Nobody is precisely sure when it occurs, but practically every mother experiences a loss of identity at some time during her motherhood journey. She suddenly becomes aware of the changes. She is unique.
She recalls the times when she gave attention to her appearance. Days when she could take a sleep whenever she felt like it, watch whatever caught her eye on television, and eat anything she felt like. And while she still has control over her life, things have changed. She must take into account other individuals when making decisions. She frequently willingly puts her wants and needs on hold in favour of what her children need.
Being a mother is amazing in its own way. It is a singular experience. But a lot of modifications also accompany it. For instance, having kids can significantly affect your temperament and attitude. You might be a people person by nature, but with a new baby in the house, you may not be able to visit your friends as frequently or you may find that you have a lot of awkward discussions when you do.
How To Rediscover Yourself
Establish Small Goals
Consider how you wish your days were. then put it in writing. Do you wish you could see a friend for lunch every month? watch a movie? visit a concert? enrol in a book club? Make a list of everything you feel is lacking from your life.
Create a strategy for how you’re going to bring those things about after that. However, be realistic; especially if your children are young, you won’t be able to cross everything off your list straight away.
Contact a personal shopper/wardrobe stylist
Although your body has altered, you shouldn’t let that stop you from wearing like the you before having a baby. Somewhere in there, she is! You will be a better wife and mother for your family if you feel better in your clothes. Hire a stylist who will shop with you or on your behalf, conduct closet consults, and take you to the mall.
Don’t forget to treat yourself
Even while a week at the all-inclusive resort spa you’ve been admiring might not be in the cards right now, you can still indulge in a little pampering. You might benefit from a massage, pedicure, or haircut, you could try a new style like if you wanted to make hair look feathered. While getting some pampering outside the home might be more convenient, there are many massage and spa services that make home visits if that isn’t an option. ideal for taking a nap.
The power of thought
A terrific time to pursue a new or old hobby is during maternity leave. Join a reading club, take a pottery class, learn to knit, go to a museum lecture series, or learn to crochet. It is simple to get into a pattern with your infant and forget everything that makes you, you, but ignoring your mind and body will eventually make you feel sluggish and alone. To keep yourself feeling alert and learn something new, get out and do something that stimulates you as a person rather than your baby.
Give the girls a lift
Whether you nurse or not, your breasts have probably changed. Most likely, your previous bras don’t fit anymore, and even if they do, they might not be as fantastic as they once were. Or perhaps, like the majority of women, your bra has never fit you properly. The time is now for you to visit a fantastic lingerie store and receive a professional bra fitting. The girls deserve some pretty tremendous support because of everything they’ve been through.
The field of pelvic floor physiotherapy is expanding quickly, and for good reason. Your pelvic floor muscles will experience tension even during the healthiest pregnancy and simplest delivery. Early postpartum visits to a pelvic floor physiotherapist can help you avoid problems later on. And might assist you with the postpartum concern that most women have.
Quality time with your other half
Yes, headed that way. Sex following childbirth. It is the concern that many new parents have the most, and it can and should be its own article. Take it leisurely, use lubrication, and enjoy yourself. It’s okay if you’re not prepared to jump in right away; it could take you weeks or even months before you’re ready to dip your toes in the water. Additionally, don’t be hesitant to experiment and try new things. Just move swiftly—babies have impeccable timing!
Set aside alone time
Put it on your calendar for the same time and day each week. Then, guard this time carefully since you require it. You’ll have an opportunity to take a step back and consider your life and what you want it to look like during this quiet period.
Additionally, it will give you a brief respite every week from the rigours of motherhood. Additionally, a little absence will renew you and enable you to reconnect with your family and children in a fresh way.
Stay in Touch With Your Loved Ones and Friends
Spending time with those who know you best can occasionally be the finest remedy for rediscovering who you are. Make time to drink coffee with the folks who care about you and who love you.
Too frequently, mothers let the demands of parenting pull them away from the people who can offer them life advice. Try to prevent this from happening. Both of you and these others depend on the other. Give them your time. If you are not there for your children all the time, they will be okay.
Quit Making Comparisons
The key to finding contentment in every stage of life is to put an end to the comparison game. You should strive to avoid comparing your life to that of individuals around you as well as thinking back on how your life formerly was.
Instead, take stock of your existing circumstance and express thanks for everything you have. You have changed as a mother. Someone a lot wiser and more compassionate has replaced the old you. She merely needs some kind, loving care.
Get Additional Support
You need to find ways to lessen your workload, whether it’s hiring someone to clean the house, delegating some tasks to Dad, or asking Grandma to watch the kids once a week. Allow yourself some breathing room. Keep in mind that attempting to achieve everything is unhealthy.
Utilise your downtime to rest
Everyone will advise you to go to bed when the baby goes to sleep, but you lack an off switch. Infants sleep a lot, so even though you’ll want to take occasional naps with your new child, you can also use their schedule to find time for yourself. Create a brief routine that fits within that window of time after you begin to understand your baby’s rhythm and how long they typically nap. Read some quality articles online or in a magazine. Take five or ten minutes to meditate. Take out your favourite macarons that you’ve been holding onto. Organize your space a little so that it doesn’t overload your head. Make an effort to reconnect with yourself.