How You Can Help Your Struggling Adult Child
Your child, regardless of whether they’re 10, 30 or 50, is still your child. You want to help them whenever you see them struggling, no matter how old they are, and you want to ensure that they get everything out of life that they both want and deserve. To help your adult child during periods of their life in which they particularly struggle, you have to be both empathic and firm with the way that you approach the situation, whether that be completing their first job application form, fighting their demons or moving into their first home away from home. Here’s what you need to do exactly.
Do the impossible for them
Your adult child is going to become too dependent on you and your support if you do everything for them, and, if that were to be the case, nobody would benefit in the long run! There will come certain times, however, when your child finds it impossible to do something that both they and you know is going to better their lives. It is at this time when you have to step in and perform the impossibly difficult task for them.
An example of this is would be you enrolling them on an intensive inpatient rehab programme. They aren’t going to see the error in their addictive ways on their own, which makes seeking help for it by themselves an impossible task for them to undertake. By taking the wheel in this instance, however, you will be able to ensure that your adult child’s life gets the correction it needs, whether they feel they need it or not.
Set objective points of measure
By setting specific and objective points of measure for your child, you will be able to help them evaluate their progress as it is ongoing. Doing this is vital as it can both show them where they might be going wrong, and it can provide them with the momentum they need to carry on working hard.
To do this, you should establish what it is you expect from them by a certain time. It could mean setting them the challenge of cooking three meals by the end of the week or telling them to make four job applications by the end of the day. Whatever goals you set them, make sure that they are either achieving them or, at the very least, giving them their absolute best.
Do not tolerate an outright unwillingness to cooperate
If your adult child displays an outright unwillingness to cooperate or change their life, then you need to clamp down on their behaviour. You need to be stern with them, even if you’ve never been before, and you need to make them see that they either make a change, or they take their problems elsewhere. Even if you don’t plan on going through with your threats of letting your child fend for his or herself, providing them with such an ultimatum might be what they need to see the light.
When you seek to help your adult child, you have to be empathetic to their struggles, but you also have to be firm enough with them to make them see where they’ve gone wrong previously. By taking the advice found above, you’ll be able to do just that.
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