Feeling blue . . .

Today so far has not been a good day.  It started at around 5.15am when Beanie Boy woke for his first feed of the day and then decided not to go back to sleep, not great when I was still up with him at 12.30am so feeling tired is an understatement!

Then I attended the funeral of a work colleague, today would have been his 39th birthday but instead he was being laid to rest.  He was one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever had the privilege to meet and he always had a big smile on his face whatever the weather.  Richard was never a well person, but sadly he recently had a bad cough/cold and developed pneumonia.  His heart wasn’t strong enough to help him fight it and so now he is sleeping for good.  Rest In Peace Little Rich, you will be very much missed by everyone who knew you xx

Whilst I was at the funeral, my good friend Karin (Cafebebe) stepped up to the mark and looked after Little Bean and Beanie Boy – I’m not sure she knew what she was letting herself in for when she agreed as she would also have her daughter, Little Bean’s best friend, Little Miss!!  Our girls have known each other since we attended music classes together when the girls were still tiny babies.  They have grown up together and can be either the best of friends or the worst of enemies.  They are both very determined, headstrong girls, which individually is great but together can be a recipe for disaster.  Me and Karin figure it will set them in good stead for when they are older but it can be very stressful for us Mums.  We try to let them sort out their differences on their own but sometimes we just have to step in and play peacekeeper. 

As a general rule, Little Bean is usually a very good girl but as you may have read in my previous post Testing, testing, she has become a little more difficult of late.  Most requests of her, such as “please can you help to tidy up” or “will you eat your dinner please” are met with a very firm “NO”.  There is no reasoning with her when she is like this so I generally have to resort to “if you don’t tidy up, then you won’t get to do drawing later” which sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t.  Karin was on the receiving end of this stubbornness today and I was not impressed.  It’s one thing if your children misbehave for you but its embarrassing when they do it for other people.  When Karin and Little Miss had gone home, it was time for Little Bean to have her nap and all seemed to be going well.  She laid down nicely for a cuddle with Beanie Boy on her bed whilst I read them both a story, she snuggled down in her bed and after giving her a kiss, I closed the door.  After 5 minutes I could near her chatting and singing to herself so I put my head through the door to ask her to be quiet and go to sleep.  I was greeted by the sight of Little Bean diving under the duvet with a very guilty look on her face and something shiny in her hand.  I asked her what she had but she plunged her hand further under the duvet so that I could not see.  Then I saw it!!!  When we moved into our new house approximately 6 weeks ago, we painted her a pretty pink princess bedroom and had bought some “princess” wall stickers to add to the theme.  One of these sticks was now hiding under her duvet, leaving behind a white patch on the wall where she had pulled the paint off too! Grrrrr!!!

And just to add to the misery which is Little Bean’s new bad attitude (aka the Terrible Twos!!!), my bouncing Beanie Boy is being VERY SICK!  Now when I say sick, I don’t just mean a little bit of spit up or positing. I mean mouthfuls of projectile vomiting!! It’s miserable, I am hardly able to lay him down at all without him being sick.  I can keep him upright for nearly an hour after a feed but the minute I lay him down, up comes the sick.  It is creating mountains of washing and ironing which I just cannot keep on top of, the weather has gone off so I can’t even hang the washing out which means I have wet washing hung all over the house.  I REALLY REALLY would like a tumble dryer but the house funds can’t quite stretch to that so soon after moving in. 

Beanie Boy doesn’t get particularly upset each time he is sick but after a while he does crunch his legs up and lets out a very high pitched squeal so he must have tummy ache.  I’m breastfeeding him which I thought meant he wouldn’t be as sick but apparently not true.  I have taken to carrying him around in my sling to keep him upright but this is having the knock on effect that he doesn’t want to be put down and is struggling to get himself off to sleep.

To say that I am tired is an understatement and today I feel very blue and lonely.  The house feels like a very big empty place when there is no-one to help with the children and so I’m feeling very overwhelmed by it all.  I’m sure the feeling will pass as I have different days but for today, I’m feeling blue!

14 thoughts on “Feeling blue . . .”

  1. You’re right, the weather doesn’t help either. But the clouds will pass, and soon. May your friend rest in peace and rise in glory.

  2. oh bless you!
    with regard to Beanie Boy being sick…..i suffered that with Bam too. HV and GP fobbed me off but it was definitely reflux (more common in boys than girls)……have a word with you HV and see of you can get some help for it.

    • Spoke to HV but she said as he was putting on weight and getting lots of wet nappies not too worried. I’m still unsure whether to go to Doc though?
      Thank you x

  3. You know, you can lean on me when you need it! I am always happy to help. I would have stayed longer today if you’d needed me to. I’m always here for you love! Mwah!

  4. Oh hunni sorry you’re feeling blue 🙁 I can’t do much from here but I’m always online if you ever want a chat and J and I are sending you big hugs ((xx))

  5. I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope it all gets better soon! I know it cant be easy with a toddler and a newborn , I really admire you for this! I decided to wait until Oli is about 5 before talks of another one as I just dont think I can do it. But I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.. why else would people go on to have 3 or 5 kids? 😉
    Have you tried asking on freecycle for a tumble dryer? If you ever need to chat/scream on the phone to someone give me a shout xx

    • Thank you so much for your lovely comment. Never thought about free cycle will check it out. I’m hoping the age gap will pay off when he is mobile so they might keep each other amused whilst i collapse on the sofa?? And thank you for the offer of an ear to bend, you may regret it!! X

  6. It does get easier. Just before I had number 3 I was worried about how I cope with a newborn, a 13 month old and a 3.5 year old. When it came to it, honestly, the first 6 weeks was bloomin’ hard and reading your blog reminded just how I felt at that time. I carried her around in a sling all the time more that I was worried about what my 13 month old would do to her if I didn’t! She too was clingy for a few weeks but as it settled they were all fine. I am sure you will find this too as it sounds as if you are doing a grand job. xx

    • Thank you, I do remember the first 6 weeks with Little Bean being the hardest so hopefully only 2 more weeks of the really tough stuff to go! I know what you mean about using the sling for their safety, Little Bean Loves him a little too much! X

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