Today, I’m dreaming of being a better Mummy. I started out pretty good when Little Bean was younger; I would do structured play for her and try at all costs to keep the TV switched off unless it was to put MTV on for a bit of music. Whilst she was napping, I would swap all her toys around so that she had a different set of toys to keep her from getting bored. We would go for walks and attend classes at the local Children’s Centre, but the older she has become, and certainly since Beanie Boy has come along, I think I’m pretty rubbish.
For starters, I feel very tired, but that could be due to the fact that I have 1001 things to tick off on my ‘To Do’ list. Now and then, I remember to get paints, pencils, or playdoh out for some messy play fun occasionally; I will bake cakes with Little Bean, we do go to the park at least once per week, and I do try to get down on the floor and actually play with them most days but I have also realised just how much I have started to rely on good old Nanny TV when Little Bean gets home from school or on her days ‘off’ and I feel bad for it.
This morning, I swapped some of Little Bean’s toys from her toy boxes and suggested that she play with the ‘new’ toys I had gotten out. She played with them for all of 10 minutes before asking if she could have the TV on. I said that she couldn’t have the TV on at all today as she was getting far too reliant upon it; cue floods of tears and a tantrum from Little Bean. I said that she never plays with her toys anymore, so we might as well give them all away, to which she said, “Ok, let’s give them to another little boy or girl”. I asked her if she understood what she was saying, and she replied “yes I don’t play with my toys, I just want to watch TV so someone else can have them”. That, to me, was a massive wake-up call; she is far too reliant on TV, and I’ve only got myself to blame. I have been so busy trying to keep on top of my work from home that I have told myself it’s okay to let her watch “just ten more minutes” whilst I get a few more jobs done. Don’t get me wrong, we still go out most days when she is at home, but on the whole, I would say that she watches at least 2 hours of TV a day, and this isn’t good enough.
I switched the TV off this morning and told her she couldn’t watch anything else today. Instead, we baked Beanie Boy’s birthday cake for his party tomorrow, we made ice lollies, we did ‘making’ and painting, and then we went to the park. After all that, I have been rewarded with an hour’s naptime from both of them, but on the whole, I haven’t actually achieved anything else I needed to do today.
I need to find a compromise because I definitely need to be a better Mummy!
I know exactly how you feel. No matter what we try, or sometimes don’t try, I think there is always that “guilty feeling” about things – it must be part of being a parent who cares!
I try as much as possible to give either a morning, or an afternoon to activities or outings for C. I attempt to try and explain that in the other half of the day, its time for me to get “mummy jobs” done.
That way, I feel like C has had some one to one time, but when I’m doing my jobs, it teaches him that he has to entertain himself every now and again and not rely on me all the time.
I think most parents allow their children some time to watch children’s TV to some extent – they are more structured these days and it must be good for these little people to have a small chunk out of their busy days for “chill time” for their whirring brains!
That is pretty much how I try to do it too but it all just seems hard going at the moment, no matter how much I try I keep banging my head against that brick wall!
Now you know what I’m going to say…YOU ARE A VERY GOOD MUMMY!
It’s so hard to find a balance and I know as much as you do. I will learn more about how you feel in about 10 weeks as well.
Firstly, the telly is not a bad thing. Yes, I use it too much but Ella is also not glued to the telly without ever moving. I like to think that the time she has to play, watch telly, etc while I am working/doing jobs around the house/having a bath has helped to make her independent and allowed her imagination to flourish. She is a confident girl who has learned from a variety of sources around her…including television.
Secondly, yes, we probably both need to step back a bit more, put the work aside and get down and play. We should challenge each other to see what happens. I need to try to make a commitment to use Mondays and Fridays for ELLA, especially in these last 9 weeks before baby. Maybe we can help each other to STEP AWAY FROM THE LAPTOP/HOOVER/KITCHEN/WASHING/IRONING?
I think you’re fab as are your kids…you’re having a bit of a low moment and feeling stress because the kids are tired. I still love you and so does everyone else!
Mwah xx
Karin
I thought you didn’t do the ironing? 😉
I try to be a good Mummy but I am questioning myself very much at the moment, especially after today’s happenings 🙁
I think this is the eternal struggle we all have! You sound like you’re doing great though.