For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a Mummy and in all my dreams of motherhood I could always envisage me showering my children with kisses and cuddles and vice versa. So when Baby Bean came along I have done nothing but smother her with kisses – every time she is sat on my knee, in her high chair, in her push chair, wake-up times, nap-times, bed-times, play-times – you get the picture!! So imagine my sadness when she was big enough to crawl, walk, pick up toys, point and basically do things that “she” wanted to do – she refused kisses and cuddles! I put it down to her being downright awkward and strong minded but whatever her reasons, IT HURT!! I’ve tried reasoning with myself that she’s only a baby and she doesn’t mean anything by it but what Mummy doesn’t want love from their child.
I thought maybe when she saw how loving her “friends” were she would follow suit and copy them but NOOOO!! If they try to kiss her, she would push them away and say “No!”. Me and hubby are very tactile people and we have always shown her, Curly and each other lots of affection in front of her so I just couldn’t understand why she would be like this?
Then a few months ago she bent down to her big brother Curly whilst he was sat on the lounge floor and kissed him on the cheek. I nearly cried, out of joy mainly that she wasn’t this “unfeeling” little person, yes I was a little sad that it wasn’t me but I’ve seen the way that she looks at Curly – he is her hero and she just shines when he enters the room. How could I be jealous about that, I was just so happy that she had kissed someone!
As time has gone on, when people leave us or we leave them I say to Baby Bean – “kisses goodbye” and she simply offers everyone her cheek as though she is royalty!! This I have actually found very amusing, although she would also do this to me at bedtime. BUT today, when hubby was taking her upstairs for bedtime, he said “kiss Mummy goodnight” and SHE KISSED ME! A proper wet baby kiss that melted my heart!!!! And just to prove that it wasn’t a one-off I had to take her a clean snuggle blanket upstairs and handed it to her through the babygate – I decided to test the theory and put my face to the gate and asked “can Mummy have a kiss” and she kissed me again!!! It’s been a long time coming but it was worth the wait because now I know that she wanted to and wasn’t just doing it because it was something she had been “taught” to do. I shall sleep with a big happy smile on my face tonight!
And after reading this blog to hubby he said that he also got a “kiss” at bedtime, he asked for a kiss and she removed her dummy and kissed him!! How happy are we!