Feeling blue . . .

Today so far has not been a good day.  It started at around 5.15am when Beanie Boy woke for his first feed of the day and then decided not to go back to sleep, not great when I was still up with him at 12.30am so feeling tired is an understatement!

Then I attended the funeral of a work colleague, today would have been his 39th birthday but instead he was being laid to rest.  He was one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever had the privilege to meet and he always had a big smile on his face whatever the weather.  Richard was never a well person, but sadly he recently had a bad cough/cold and developed pneumonia.  His heart wasn’t strong enough to help him fight it and so now he is sleeping for good.  Rest In Peace Little Rich, you will be very much missed by everyone who knew you xx

Whilst I was at the funeral, my good friend Karin (Cafebebe) stepped up to the mark and looked after Little Bean and Beanie Boy – I’m not sure she knew what she was letting herself in for when she agreed as she would also have her daughter, Little Bean’s best friend, Little Miss!!  Our girls have known each other since we attended music classes together when the girls were still tiny babies.  They have grown up together and can be either the best of friends or the worst of enemies.  They are both very determined, headstrong girls, which individually is great but together can be a recipe for disaster.  Me and Karin figure it will set them in good stead for when they are older but it can be very stressful for us Mums.  We try to let them sort out their differences on their own but sometimes we just have to step in and play peacekeeper. 

As a general rule, Little Bean is usually a very good girl but as you may have read in my previous post Testing, testing, she has become a little more difficult of late.  Most requests of her, such as “please can you help to tidy up” or “will you eat your dinner please” are met with a very firm “NO”.  There is no reasoning with her when she is like this so I generally have to resort to “if you don’t tidy up, then you won’t get to do drawing later” which sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t.  Karin was on the receiving end of this stubbornness today and I was not impressed.  It’s one thing if your children misbehave for you but its embarrassing when they do it for other people.  When Karin and Little Miss had gone home, it was time for Little Bean to have her nap and all seemed to be going well.  She laid down nicely for a cuddle with Beanie Boy on her bed whilst I read them both a story, she snuggled down in her bed and after giving her a kiss, I closed the door.  After 5 minutes I could near her chatting and singing to herself so I put my head through the door to ask her to be quiet and go to sleep.  I was greeted by the sight of Little Bean diving under the duvet with a very guilty look on her face and something shiny in her hand.  I asked her what she had but she plunged her hand further under the duvet so that I could not see.  Then I saw it!!!  When we moved into our new house approximately 6 weeks ago, we painted her a pretty pink princess bedroom and had bought some “princess” wall stickers to add to the theme.  One of these sticks was now hiding under her duvet, leaving behind a white patch on the wall where she had pulled the paint off too! Grrrrr!!!

And just to add to the misery which is Little Bean’s new bad attitude (aka the Terrible Twos!!!), my bouncing Beanie Boy is being VERY SICK!  Now when I say sick, I don’t just mean a little bit of spit up or positing. I mean mouthfuls of projectile vomiting!! It’s miserable, I am hardly able to lay him down at all without him being sick.  I can keep him upright for nearly an hour after a feed but the minute I lay him down, up comes the sick.  It is creating mountains of washing and ironing which I just cannot keep on top of, the weather has gone off so I can’t even hang the washing out which means I have wet washing hung all over the house.  I REALLY REALLY would like a tumble dryer but the house funds can’t quite stretch to that so soon after moving in. 

Beanie Boy doesn’t get particularly upset each time he is sick but after a while he does crunch his legs up and lets out a very high pitched squeal so he must have tummy ache.  I’m breastfeeding him which I thought meant he wouldn’t be as sick but apparently not true.  I have taken to carrying him around in my sling to keep him upright but this is having the knock on effect that he doesn’t want to be put down and is struggling to get himself off to sleep.

To say that I am tired is an understatement and today I feel very blue and lonely.  The house feels like a very big empty place when there is no-one to help with the children and so I’m feeling very overwhelmed by it all.  I’m sure the feeling will pass as I have different days but for today, I’m feeling blue!