This is going to hurt . . . .

. . . . well, when doesn’t giving birth hurt?  I can honestly say that I’m really starting to s*** myself about giving birth again.  Today, my pains got so bad that I actually phoned Hubby just to check that he definitely had his phone on him in case I needed to tell him to get home.  I was that sure that it was all about to kick off.  I had taken some paracetamol over an hour earlier, and they just hadn’t touched the pain.  I tried walking around the house, rocking my hips from side to side, sitting down and relaxing, sewing – just about anything I could think of, but the pain just wouldn’t go away.  Then bang, just like that, they were gone, and I felt fine again.  It kept happening like that every 20 minutes or so and then just went after a few hours.  I didn’t know whether to feel happy or deflated!  Obviously, I was happy that I wasn’t in pain anymore, but then I felt deflated that things had stopped again and baby WASN’T on his way.

A few hours later, it all started again – coming and going every 20 minutes or so and then NOTHING!!!  But what it has done has reminded me that the pain I was feeling today is only the tip of the iceberg.  As my labour progresses, that pain is going to feel like a mild headache in comparison, and now I’m starting to panic.  I look at my bump and see how big it has become in the last nine months, I feel and prod around to work out just how big my baby is, and I have to say, he doesn’t feel small, and I know this is going to hurt like hell.

Labour with Little Bean, it has to be said, was not the best fun in the world, and now my daydreams and nightmares are coming thick and fast, reminding me just how painful it all was.  I don’t know why I’m torturing myself about it all. I want this baby more than anything, and that labour is just a means to an end, but it doesn’t mean to say that it’s going to be a walk in the park.  At some point over the next two weeks, I’m going to be in a living hell, but hey – IT WILL BE WORTH IT!!

Wish me luck xx