Those of you who have read my previous posts will know that unfortunately, I have recently suffered a “missed miscarriage“. Yesterday I had to go to the hospital to have a small op to have the remaining pregnancy removed. Finally, it has put an end to a really horrible couple of weeks so we feel like we can move on with our lives.

Nil by mouth

I was supposed to be in the hospital at 7 am on the emergency list which meant that I would fit in with the list of other emergencies. This meant that if someone turned up with half their leg missing they would obviously take precedence over me. It also meant that I wasn’t allowed to eat after midnight the evening before.

Then I was given a lifeline and told that I could attend a different hospital in the afternoon and was allowed to have “one piece of toast” at 7 am on the morning of the op. To begin with, I was ecstatic (I’m a Taurus, I like food!) but after setting my alarm to get up and eat said piece of toast I wasn’t so sure it was a great idea as it totally kickstarted my metabolism and made me hungrier than ever.

It’s totally true that when you are denied something, it’s all you can think about. I sat down to feed Baby Bean her breakfast and couldn’t help myself licking the lid of her yoghurt. Then hubby came home to collect me and promptly raided the cupboards in front of me, eating everything I tried to avoid all morning and just to make matters worse, when we dropped Baby Bean off at my In-laws, I was greeted by the smell of the lovely casserole they were having for lunch. Torture!

Waiting

I then spent the next  4 hours waiting for my turn, reading my magazines – skipping the adverts for food and chocolate – watching members of the nursing staff walking past with their packed lunches planning how to mug them!

It’s time

Finally, my heart was beating so loud I could hear it before they had even connected the wires to the machine.  Although I was grateful to finally be putting an end to the missed miscarriage, I felt very anxious and upset all at the same moment.

I’ve had bigger operations before but since having Baby Bean I have become so emotional and basically a “wuss” I had got it into my head that I wouldn’t wake up and see my family again – I even wrote them a letter just in case!! But thankfully 45 minutes after going “to sleep” I woke up dreaming I was dancing in a club (well it’s been a while!) and when back on the ward was presented with two Rich Tea biscuits and a cheese and cucumber sandwich! Not quite what I’d been dreaming about all day but to be honest I was about ready to eat my slipper!

Home

On arriving home there was a very excited Baby  Bean waiting to give me a hug, followed by Curly who had apparently been helping her with her “jumping” finally she had got both feet off the ground! My Mum had bought me some lovely flowers and had a lovely lasagne waiting. I was “home” and very happy at that! (Although I did feel like I’d been kicked in the stomach by a donkey but that kind of spoils the story!) xx