Mummy Minus Mummy = ? Keep A Sense Of Self While Caring For Others

The title of Mummy is one that is a true privilege. Not everyone in this world is blessed with the gift of children, and even then only half of us actually get to be a mummy. In fact, it is such an intense and amazing experience it really can reshift your priorities and make everything else in your life pale in comparison. After all, there are these little humans that need to your care and attention all of the time to thrive. However, this situation is not a permanent one. In fact, it’s one that will gradually require you less and less, something that often leaves mothers with an identity crisis as the kids get older and reach major milestones. Happily, there are some strategies you can use to minimise the effect of this. Read on to find out what they are.

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Me time

It seems like sometimes the mother that spends 24 hours with her child is held up to be the pinnacle of modern motherhood. “I can’t even go to the toilet on my own!” is the refrain often heard. Of course, while the little ones are small they are going to need constant supervision and guidance, but the occasional break from them is something that can do mum a lot of good.

That is where ‘me time‘ comes in, and it’s all about having enough time away from the little ones to realise that your only function isn’t changing nappies and blowing noses. Maybe that means once a week dad takes them out for a day? Alternatively, if you are a lone parent, perhaps they can go to a relative or a childminder to give you some space to breathe, think and re-establish your identity as something in its own right and not just as an adjunct to them.

Career and Study

Something that can help you to retain a sense of self above and beyond being a mum is to keep your hand in with your career or academic pursuits. Of course, this isn’t always easy if you are getting nights of broken sleep, but it can be a way of connecting to your life before being a mum, as well as the one you want to create after.

In particular, study courses like this online MBA program make an excellent choice because they can be studied in your own home and at a time convenient to you. Then you don’t have to worry about finding childcare so you can attend lectures or classes. They also put in an excellent position for your career later on.

Career-wise, make use of those keep in touch days, and discuss the possibility of changing your working conditions to fit in better with your parenting duties. Ask for part-time hours, flexitime, and even remote working if you think that these will help you.


Last of all, having a regular social life can be something of a lifesaver when it comes to not losing your identity when the kids are young. In particular, it can be a good idea to make the time and effort to see folks that you socialise with before you had kids and not just the mother’s you meet in your prenatal group. The reason for this being that this can help you retain a perspective on your whole life and not focus just on the mothering aspects.


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