Learning how to co-parent is not always the easiest of tasks, but you need to make sure that you are able to do so successfully for the benefit of your children. If you are able to build a good relationship with your former partner, your children will hopefully be able to thrive under your influence. Here are some tips and tricks to help you make coparenting easier to manage.
Sit Down and Discuss Plans
You need to make sure that you and your partner sit down and actually discuss some of the challenges you might be facing. It is not enough to exchange small details in passing when you are dropping the kids off or picking them up. You need to make sure that you are on the same page for many different details.
Take time to sit down and discuss different aspects of raising your child that you need to consider. For example, you might wish to discuss who is going to help out with things like extracurricular activities, or paying for school uniforms. The more that you can discuss and reach agreements on, the less ammunition that both of you will have in a fight.
Find the Right Resources
Finding the right resources to help with coparenting is a must. These can take many forms, so you need to make sure that you track down the right ones for you. A co-parenting app might be easy to refer to on the fly, while a magazine subscription or signing up to a forum online could mean that you have a regular influx of tips to help you manage some of the challenges of the coparenting relationship.
A resource like Onward’s coparenting app could prove to be invaluable as you try to work out some of the details that need to be addressed. Likewise, choosing the right parenting forum means that you could be able to pick up some tricks for things like speaking to your children about the coparenting relationship and even more. There are so many resources out there for you to use, you just have to go looking for them!
You might have certain dates that you and your coparent are certain on, and these can’t be changed or double-booked in any way. How do you ensure that things don’t go wrong? Verbally confirming or texting information is not always the best move, and it could simply result in messages being lost and appointments being missed. You need to come up with a solution that works for both of you, and that is not easily confused.
This is why a calendar app can be the best move for both of you. If you have a shared calendar, both of you will be able to edit it and input dates and important events that you need to manage. This should be an easy and clear system that works for both of you. If you decide to introduce some sort of shorthand or colour-coding system, make sure that both of you fully understand it so that nothing can get lost whilst trying to communicate with each other.
Try to Keep Things Civil
Your relationship with each other might not have ended well, that is perfectly understandable, but you have children together and so you need to put on a civil front for their sake. No matter what, you should try to be cordial with each other. Don’t make the mistake of descending into competing against each other on a tit-for-tat basis.
Your only communication with each other might be regarding the children. That is fine, but you do need to make sure that you keep things as civil as possible. Try to be understanding if something gets upset, such as your coparent being unable to take the kids for the weekend. You need to work together to ensure that your children still have a good childhood even if you are not together.
Make Sure You Keep Communication Flowing
Communication is always going to be at the heart of a good coparenting relationship. You need to make sure that you are always willing to talk to each other, regardless of any spat that is going on between the pair of you. Even with agreements in place and a commitment to updating a calendar or some other means of keeping in touch with each other, you need to make sure that you are coparenting properly.
This is going to be a massive challenge, especially if your relationship did not end amicably. However, with the right attitude and the understanding that this is for the benefit of your children, there is no reason why you cannot coparent successfully. There are so many resources out there that could help make coparenting that bit easier for you to manage. Find the ones that work for you now.