Can people make you question yourself?
On the whole I think I’m a pretty good Mummy, I love my children ‘to infinity and beyond’ and I try to always do what is best for them, they are my priority and I would never do anything to harm them.
Today was my afternoon with Beanie Boy alone as Little Bean was at Nanny and Grandad’s house. Normally we stay in and snuggle for the afternoon but today I decided to pop to the supermarket to pick up a few bits and pieces. It was a cold afternoon but not particularly windy and no rain. I considered where I would be going and what we were doing before I left the house and dressed Beanie Boy accordingly. He had a long sleeved vest, a long sleeved top, trousers, socks, booties and scratch mitts. Whenever he is in his car seat he always has a large blanket over him which is folded in half and half again. We were going from our back door to the car (about 10 steps) and from the car to the Supermarket front door (about 200 yards) so I didn’t feel it was necessary for him to wear a hat. If we were going out for an afternoon stroll then he would DEFINITELY have been wearing his hat and some warmer gloves. Before I put him into his pushchair I wrapped him up in his blanket and made the blanket into a hood. So in my mind, he was warm enough! But apparently not, as I was leaving the supermarket I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a man behind me. He pointed to Beanie Boy and said “no good, he needs a hat!”. I looked at him in disbelief and eventually said “no thank you, he’s fine” and then as I looked to the man he was walking with they both began to shake their heads and TUT at me!!!!! I was fuming!! How dare they judge me and tell me how to care for my baby?
On the way home I began mulling this over in my mind, were they right? Should he have had a hat on??? Was my baby cold because I hadn’t dressed him appropriately. I felt his head and to me he felt very warm, he hadn’t woken up at all and was still sleeping soundly so I would read that as him being warm and snuggly? Was I failing as a Mum?
Earlier in the day I had attended a Breastfeeding Peer Counsellor group and we were all talking about our experiences of early breastfeeding. All of the other Mums said that they kept a log of the times and length of feed, and times/contents of nappies. I didn’t do this? Should I have been doing this? Did I miss the antenatal class where they told you that you should be keeping a log of feeds and nappies, or did this idea just come naturally to some Mums, if so, why not me?
I can’t believe that one little comment from someone could have unsettled me so much, I refer back to my initial paragraph – “On the whole I think I’m a pretty good Mummy, I love my children ‘to infinity and beyond’ and I try to always do what is best for them, they are my priority and I would never do anything to harm them” – why should I let a stranger make me doubt myself so much!! I don’t know – he just did!