Can People Make You Question Yourself? - Mummy Matters: Parenting And Lifestyle

Can people make you question yourself?

As a mother, I’ve learned that parenting is as much about trusting your instincts as it is about following the rule book. Today was a perfect example of this. On the whole, I believe I’m a pretty good Mummy. I love my children ‘to infinity and beyond’ and strive to do what’s best for them. They are my priority, and I would never do anything to harm them.

This afternoon was special; it was my time with Beanie Boy alone, as Little Bean was with Nanny and Grandad. Usually, we’d stay in and snuggle, but today I felt a little adventurous and decided to pop to the supermarket for a few essentials. The air was cold but calm, without a hint of rain. I meticulously planned our outing, dressing Beanie Boy in a long-sleeved vest, top, trousers, socks, booties, and scratch mitts. As always, he was snug under a thick, folded blanket in his car seat.

Question yourself

All seemed well until a chance encounter at the supermarket made me question my decisions. As we were leaving, a tap on my shoulder drew my attention to a man who pointed at Beanie Boy, remarking, “No good, he needs a hat!” I was taken aback. Politely but firmly, I replied, “No, thank you, he’s fine.” Yet, as I walked away, their disapproving shakes and tuts echoed in my mind.

The drive home was a whirlwind of thoughts. Were they right? Should Beanie Boy have worn a hat? His warm, peaceful slumber in the car seat seemed to reassure me that he was comfortable. But doubt crept in, making me question if I was failing as a mum.

Earlier, at a Breastfeeding Peer Counsellor group, the other mums shared their meticulous logs of feeds and nappies. I hadn’t done this. Was this a critical step I missed, or was it just another aspect of parenting that comes naturally to some and not to others?

Ollie - Beanie Boy

One little comment had unsettled me profoundly. It brought me back to my initial conviction – I am a good Mummy, doing my best for my children. So why did I let a stranger’s words make me doubt myself so much?

This experience reminded me that parenting is a journey filled with unsolicited advice, but at the end of the day, it’s the love and understanding we have for our children that truly matters.

Have you ever found yourself questioning your parenting choices based on others’ opinions? How did you handle it? I would love to hear your stories and how you trusted your instincts in the face of doubt.

6 thoughts on “Can people make you question yourself?”

  1. I once saw a woman pushing her child around in a pushchair. No coat, no blanket, and no shoes and socks! This child was crying, and as her feet were bright red i’m not surprised…..this was the middle of winter and it was bitterly cold.
    I would have approached her but somebody else beat me to it!
    But there is a huge difference between what I saw and what you did with Beanie Boy. You are his mother, and you know what is right for him. I think it’s emotionally harder to deal with this kind of interference when baby is young and you are tired. I cried and shouted when a woman removed Bam’s dummy in a shop one day(waking him and making him cry), she was very critical and got short shrift from me when i explained he needed it to settle his sicky-ness…..and that it was none of her damn business whether I gave him one or not.
    As for the BF mothers keeping a log of feeds and nappies….how many are first time mum’s? And do you know what……i did that with Bam, for a couple of weeks. It was just about the only way I think of to have some control over my life, and then I realised I was stressing about it too much and stopped.
    You will look back at this blog in the not too distant future and probably chuckle at yourself getting worked up about some daft bloke in a supermarket car park, but as all us mothers know at the time a comment like that really does have the ability to cut deep…..
    You’re a great mummy, and you’re doing really well…….adopt a 4 year old’s attitude to this and blow raspeberries behind the back of the next person to stick their nose in where it’s not wanted!

    • Yeah I’ve seen children like that myself and wondered what the parents must be thinking, I would NEVER take my children out like that but I also weigh up what activities we’re doing before I get them dressed for leaving the house.
      I love your advice and I think I may well start blowing raspberries at people! LOL!!
      Thanks xx

  2. What a load of rubbish, i completely agree with you Caroline. I remember with Libby she was quite small and people got me in such a tizz about her size – in the end i stopped going to the health visitor to have her weighed as it always ended in tears (mine) – i was happy after that.x And as for Libby she was never unhappy in the first place !

    • I had exactly the same problem with Little Bean and she has turned out absolutely fine – just still can’t get her to eat properly but she’s never been a sickly child so we must be doing something right with her! Thanks xx

    • Thank you, I think he just got me “on the hop” as I really wasn’t expecting it. I know in my mind I’m a good mum and do what is best for my children but it did make me question whether I was right on that occasion. Beanie Boy hasn’t left the house without a hat since! xx

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