Sometimes families find themselves stuck in negative communication patterns. It is important to change how you communicate with your children. Before you get to know the reasons why your kids don’t talk to you, you should try few methods until you find the best option. Grown children who ignore their parents will eventually see the efforts you are putting up and eventually open up to you.
You are judgmental
Your kid may not be willing to talk to you. This can be a result of fear of the response that they will get from you. As a parent, you might be always criticising their decision. You may also be saying negative things about their friends or give consequences whenever they approach you with a touching issue.
To avoid this, always stay neutral as you respond. Frequently ask questions to get more details before making conclusions. Finally, liaise with children and seek to understand what they feel and how they think about a particular decision.
You are always distracted
Your child might be willing to talk to you, but you are too distracted as a parent to give them the attention they want. The child may also be tired of the competition with your phone or computer where you spend most of the time. Any time the child wants to talk to you, they find you busy.
It would help if you took time to schedule time where you can openly talk with your children. Put away anything that might be distractive and give them all the attention. This can be made possible, especially when their children come from school.
You are always solving their problems
As a parent, we often assume that children need advice and solutions to their problems. This makes the parents jump to conclusions expressing their opinions and thoughts instead of hearing the children’s point of view. This leads to the children avoid you and may not want to speak to you at all.
To remedy this, we should engage the children and encourage them to try their own ideas first. Encourage them to brainstorm and try to resolve the problem. This will make them feel appreciated as their ideas are fully incorporated.
Pressuring your child to talk
Parents are always concerned about their children. They feel the urge and often push to find out anything that is wrong. When they ask a question with no response, they feel frustrated. Though we have to assist them in whatever they are going through, how we do, it matters.
We should keep open communication and have a journal or activities that help them express their thought. Parents avoid the common question “why” and find alternatives that will not make them feel pressured to talk.
Talking too much
Some kids are introverted and require time to be quiet well as spend time alone. They also need time to process what you are asking of them. As a parent, you should ask open-ended questions and be patient in the reply. Always listen to them without interrupting and support them with silence.
