One of the most challenging scenarios an adult has to deal with is when an ageing parent refuses to accept help. Most of the time, fear is the prevalent factor why our ageing parents repeatedly decline our assistance. They are afraid of losing control over their own lives, and for many of them, accepting care means resigning to defeat.
When you have these conversations with your parents, emotions inevitably come to the forefront while logic takes a backseat. The moment you let your feelings get the best of you, you will lose the chance to objectively show your parents the benefits of getting the help that they need. Here are some strategies you can use to help your elderly loved ones to reconsider.
Assess their current situation
You must evaluate their present situation. Take a closer look at their overall health, living environment and conditions, and current activities. Do they highly value their independence and privacy? Do they need help with their daily tasks, or can they still manage on their own? Do they pose a threat to themselves or the community? Will they benefit if they live with you or in an assisted living facility? These are the questions you need to ask yourself to determine the gravity of the situation and what you need to prioritize.
Provide options and get them involved in the process
Provide several options and allow them to make decisions on certain aspects. They might be concerned about the costs of living in a facility, or that they will lose their identity, so you must acknowledge their concerns and never invalidate their feelings.
Emphasize the benefits of assisted living, such as freedom from home maintenance, the potential of meeting new people, new hobbies and activities to participate in, and a more secure living environment. Always try to construct your statements positively and avoid remarks that might put them in a defensive mode. Comment on how caregivers can be a great source of companionship, and they should not be viewed as bodyguards or personal assistants. If you are concerned with them driving alone, teach them how to book an Uber, or if you noticed that they haven’t been eating properly, order food delivery regularly to show them how convenient meal deliveries are.
Put your worries into the limelight
Many parents do not want to be a burden to their children. One effective strategy is to highlight your worries in the limelight and not their inadequacies, as this will take the focus off their limitations. Instead of telling them that they will be safer living with other people, tell them that you are concerned for their safety since they live alone and if they could consider looking at assisted living facilities in your area. Frame your statements in a way that will feature your concerns and approach the subject as objectively and positively as possible. There are senior living amenities in Northgate that offer a wide variety of services to enhance their daily living.
Sometimes despite our well-intentioned suggestions, our parents still would not change their minds. Nonetheless, we need to accept the situation and continue to be a comfort and love source for our elderly loved ones.
