On Friday I spent the day Christmas shopping with my Mum and Beanie Boy in Cambridge, yesterday I managed to escape for a day on my own into Peterborough and the Mummy Matters family headed to Milton Keynes. Our first stop was the fantastic Ikea (bit odd for Christmas shopping you might think but we just love it!) and a bit of shopping followed by lunch. Then it was over to good old TK Maxx to see if I could find any last minute-ish bargains. Since I needed to buy for Hubby and he needed to buy for me we decided it would be easiest to split up so Little Bean came with me and the boys went with Hubby.
All was going well, Little Bean was behaving reasonably well to say that she was bored but as usual we played a few games and sang silly songs as we made our way around the gifts department. To make it all a little more fun for Little Bean I always intersperse my browsing with a trip to the toy department for Little Bean but this was where our day went horribly wrong. Just as we were looking at some of the girls toys a trio of girls approached us aged between 4 and 6 (I’m guessing) and told us “you’re in our way”. I looked at them in shock and decided to ignore their rude behaviour. “I said, you’re in our way so move” – seriously this was the eldest of the three girls speaking to me like she was an adult. My mind rushed with how I should react to this, I wanted to tell her where to go but I had to consider that my 3 year old daughter was standing next to me so I calmly and politely said “if you ask nicely then we will move” but the girl replied “you can just f*** off lady, don’t you tell me what do to do, get out of our way”. Again I responded calmly and said “you are a very rude little girl, now go away please”.
This time one of the younger girls piped up and told me that I was “an f***ing old hag” and that I was probably “on the rob” anyway. All this time Little Bean stood quietly by my side pretending to be very interested in the toys and totally ignoring the girls until the eldest girl said “oi is she your daughter? Cos she is f***ing ugly as hell”. Ok that’s it, be rude to me but DO NOT bring my children into it, I bent down to the oldest girl and asked if she’d had an opportunity to look in the mirror recently and then I took Little Bean’s hand and walked past the girls to look at the toys around the corner. No word of a lie, every aisle we walked down the trio of brats would come and terrorise us. I hate to be stereotypical here but when the girls started speaking I immediately knew which community they were from and it was not a community I wanted to get mixed up with. A relative of the girls appeared and spoke to them in a dialect I didn’t understand and the girls quickly shut up and moved away, until the woman walked in the opposite direction and then they appeared again this time the middle girl put her foot out as I walked past and tried to trip me up.
When I am shopping with Little Bean she wears a child’s harness so that I can keep her close by as she has a tendency to wander but of course this became a point of interest for the girls. “See lady, even you think your girl is a dog, that’s why you’ve got her on a lead”. As we were looking at the boy’s toys the girls approached a small boy who was probably about the same age as Little Bean, they whispered something to him and then he turned to me and spoke in the same twang, “oi lady, these are boy’s toys f*** off to the girls toys with your ugly girl”. OMG my veins were burning with anger and still Little Bean was doing so well to stay quietly by my side. Again I took her hand and walked away towards the woman who had previously shut them up. The girls didn’t see her and continued their barrage of abuse at us and so I calmly turned around and said “just go away and leave us alone please” loud enough for the woman to hear. She looked at me and then to the girls “Shannon get back to ya mother will ya”. Again the girls left.
Determined to get right away from the girls Little Bean and I headed downstairs to look at the Christmas decorations but within minutes they were behind us again, hurling abuse after abuse and the eldest who was holding a dog collar in her hand actually whipped me with it. By now I’d had more than enough so I took Little Bean by the hand and turned to leave the store, Little Bean suddenly feeling brave turned around to the girls and said “you’re really horrible girls, you leave my Mummy alone” and then quickly headed for the door but as we went to leave through one door, the eldest girl went out one door and blocked our way out of the store saying “oh have we frightened ya now Mrs, are you running away” and at this point I placed my hand in front of her so that she stepped back (without touching her) and walked away. Little Bean immediately said “do you think we should find Daddy now, I don’t like them girls”.
I have never been so frustrated in my life, I would be horrified if I ever thought my children were behaving like that but my thoughts go to the children who probably have to attend school with these girls. That is an experience I never want to repeat.
Have you ever experienced behaviour like that from children? How did you react?
That’s really shocking and unsettling. I hate feeling intimidated in any way when out but when my children are with me then I turn into proper mother bear! Anyone says anything and I get very cross. But so hard to know what to do in this situation as the girls are so young.
You did a great job staying calm. I think I would have told the security guard! Hope your little girl wasn’t too unsettled by it.
Do you know, I didn’t even think about finding the security guard. I was too busy telling myself they are only children, they are only children when all I wanted to do shove them out of the way. When the one tried to trip me up it took me all my strength not to stamp on her foot but then I had to remind myself that they were just little girls. Horrible situation as I never react well to bullies but I never thought at 35 I would be bullied by small children!
More to the point – where the hell did they learn that kind of behaviour????? Hope Lil Bean is OK! xx
I’m really and truly shocked – I can’t believe you managed to stay so calm. I think I probably would have broken down into tears! Although, when you have your child with you, that protective instinct comes out immediately!
Shocking that children of such a young age can behave in such ways. Hope you’re both ok. x
SHOCKING. Good for you for staying calm. Not sure what I would have done, but not worth talking with the parents, that ALWAYS backfires. x
I saw you talking on twitter last night about this & cannot believe it! I would be mortified if a child of mine spoke to anyone like that – how absolutely disgusting.
Well done for keeping your cool – not sure I could have don, and bless your daughter for saying something x
I am shocked, I had heard a boy no older than 10 say stuff like this, but never this young or in that gang mentality, bullying manor! I applaud your calmness I think my anger would have got the better of me!
What a horrible experience, I really liked your reaction of nothing. Shame the girls didn’t have anything to identify them so they can be reported somewhere, although not sure where,
I hope your next shopping experience is more pleasant!
Oh that’s just awful. I don’t know what I’d have done, especially when you have a child with you. Hope you’re okay x
Goodness me – what an awful experience.Before you had mentioned the type of people they were I had my suspicions. Behaviour like this does nothing for their cause. I think you behaved admirably and Bean sounds like a lovely little girl. Very brave for trying to stand up for you.I am glad you got away safely, but so sorry that you had this nasty experience. What ignorant, aggressive and downright horrible children.
Oh my God I feel sick to my stomach reading this. You poor thing and what evil, horrible little bitches! (I know that sounds strong because they are children, but their behaviour was deliberate and victimising) I hate to think how they treat their peers if that is the level of respect they show to an adult. I’m so sorry that your trip was spoilt like this, *try* and put it behind you.
Wow you handled that very well! I would have been more like a bull in a china shop and marched up to the parents and ordered them to keep their kids in check. I am quite certain that the odd expletive would have been uttered – not a great example to my daughter but in that situation I don’t think I would have been able to hold back.
Well done you and I hope your daughter was ok.
If they hadn’t been from this particular community I probably would have spoken to the parents but when I saw the mother had her hand bandaged up I didn’t fancy taking my chances, certainly not in front of my daughter. It is one experience I hope never to repeat 🙂
My goodness… Just popped in, via britmums. What a horrid experience. As a teacher/mummy this makes my blood boil. It is learnt behaviour though and the parents/carers really have let these girls down. I probably would have ended up saying something to the relative (not that it would have made much difference) and probably would have reported them to a member of staff as ‘lost’ and ‘following you’, as they really shouldn’t be wandering around different floors on their own. Hope your little girl was ok and don’t let it get to you & well done on staying calm :)!
Thank you for dropping by, always nice to have new readers. I decided that it wouldn’t have made any difference in speaking to the adults with them as they obviously didn’t care what they were doing. I didn’t even think to tell the store that they were lost or following me. My brain just went to mush – it has affected me in that I really don’t want to go back to that store though and that sounds silly bearing in mind I am a grown adult and they are small children who I will (hopefully) never see again!
It was more the community they were from which made me hold back and also the fact that my daughter was there. It was quite difficult to hold my tongue as I really wanted to tell them where to go (if you know what I mean 🙂 )