As parents, we naturally worry about our children. If your little one is growing into a shy child, it can be worrying (and sometimes frustrating). The last thing you want is for them to miss out on wonderful childhood experiences because they lack confidence.
Shy children are often “clingy” to those they know and trust; they avoid eye contact and are reluctant to speak to people they are not comfortable with. Shy children may also avoid participating in group settings and, therefore, may struggle to make friends.
Encourage Independence
Small steps make a huge difference. Encouraging and supporting small acts of independence can help your child become more comfortable with stepping out of their comfort zone.
For example, setting age-appropriate chores in the home is an effective way to encourage independence. Outside of the home, encourage them to speak for themselves in appropriate situations, such as when ordering an ice cream at an ice cream van!
Educate On Simple Social Skills
Basic social skills don’t come naturally to everyone. Many children may choose to isolate themselves in social settings because they’re not quite sure how to participate. Teaching and demonstrating simple social skills can help. These include:
- Making eye contact to let someone know you are listening to them
- Smiling
- Responding to polite conversation or basic questions
- Initiating conversations, i.e. “Please, can I join in your game?”.
Utilise Positive Reinforcement
Praise is an important tool for all parents. Most children respond incredibly well to positive reinforcement. When your child steps out of their comfort zone and demonstrates an act of independence, be sure to praise them for it!
Perhaps use a reward chart or sticker system to encourage bigger steps of independence.
Start A Team Sport Or Hobby
Joining a team sport or hobby can be incredibly daunting for a lot of children, especially shy kids. The majority of clubs, academies and teams allow parents to stay and watch (at least initially) to give children the chance to relax in their new surroundings.
Team sports and clubs are run by seasoned professionals with tons of experience in encouraging shy children to join in, so parents don’t have to worry too much!
Perhaps consider a sport that encourages teamwork and friendships, such as football. Football for children is proven to build a range of skills and qualities, including communication skills, teamwork skills and social skills. Plus, being a part of a team is a sure-fire way to make friends.
Try Not To Use Labels
In social situations, it can be easy to say, “She/he is just a little shy!” when explaining why your little one doesn’t want to join in. However, labelling your child as shy in front of them may encourage them to lean into the label.
Instead, having empathy for their feelings and encouragement to get out of their comfort zone will go much further.
Prepare For Situations They May Find Uncomfortable
A lot of shyness in children comes from feelings of anxiety. When entering a new situation, such as a birthday party, play centre or new classroom, try to prepare your little one by giving them as much information as possible.
To do this, explain where they will be going, how long they will be staying for, who may be there and what is going to happen. Answer any questions they have before arriving. Being prepared can help reduce anxiety and may help your child feel more comfortable in a social setting.