Divorce is an unfortunate and difficult process for everyone involved. For many, it can be a very difficult time in life as you begin to separate your lives from those of your spouse and go through the transition of moving on without them by your side. However, as challenging as divorce can be, there are ways to minimize its negative effects on your children. This is especially important if you have a young child who has not reached the age of understanding and therefore will rely on you to explain divorce in a way that makes sense to them.
There are many ways to minimize or completely avoid any negative effects that may come from divorce on your children, as long as the proper steps are taken by those involved. This helpful guide will provide you with some useful tips to consider while going through a divorce that will help your children go through this entire process as easy as possible.
Work With Mediators and Family Lawyers
Mediation provides an opportunity for you and your ex-spouse to meet in a neutral place with a professional mediator who helps you discuss the process of divorce and any difficult decisions that need to be made. A mediator ensures a healthy, open dialogue between you and your ex-spouse in a way that is productive and safe for everyone involved. This will help avoid any unnecessary disagreements or arguments during this sensitive time.
If mediation is not an option in your case, consider going through the divorce process with the assistance of an attorney who can serve as a third party that will listen to both sides of the story without taking sides themselves. Working with expert family lawyers can also help ensure that you are fighting for your rights as a parent while also considering the needs of your child. If your kid’s other parent is not willing to cooperate or they are purposefully trying to turn your kids against you, a good lawyer will advise you of the proper steps to take so that your child is protected.
Let The Kids Know What To Expect
This may seem obvious, but the more you prepare your children for what will be happening in the coming months, years, or even decades of your divorce, the better they will be able to manage their feelings about it. Preparation is important whether your child understands the full extent of what is going on or not. In some cases, children as young as three years old begin to notice changes in their parent’s behavior and emotions due to divorce. It can be difficult for them, even in these cases, to understand why their parents are acting the way they are, but having a proper understanding of what is happening will help ease your child’s worries and fears about what will come later on down the road.
Be The Perfect Example
It is important to be a positive role model for your children throughout this entire process. This means demonstrating healthy adult behaviour and acting as a support system for your kids no matter what the circumstances may be. Your child’s other parent may make it seem like you are at fault for why divorce needs to happen, but that should not be something you allow them to believe if possible. Children respond well to adults who remain calm, level-headed, patient, and kind during tough times such as these. Avoid exhibiting any negative adult behaviours yourself while going through your divorce. Doing so will help prevent your children from following in the same footsteps by avoiding conflict and acting out because of their feelings about how things ended up with you and their other parent.
Establish a Healthy Routine
To help your children remain as happy and stress-free as possible throughout this period of change, you must stick to a healthy routine for everyone involved. Having a set schedule in place will help keep the household under control when things may feel chaotic otherwise. It can be difficult to do so with two homes, but if at all possible try focusing more of your attention on your child’s life instead of worrying about getting everything organized just yet.
Once a divorce has been finalized between you and the other parent, then you can begin planning out how you want to divide time with your family members more efficiently. You also want to make sure that both parents are present for important events such as school, sports activities, clubs or organizations, or any other family outings.
Reassure Them That Everything Will Be Fine
Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, especially children since they are still developing emotionally and learning what it means to be an adult. Letting them know that you are there for their support will let him or them know that everything will be alright no matter what your family goes through during this process.
Make sure that your children know that even though one of you is moving out, they are still very much loved and cherished by both parents no matter what happens between you. Discussing difficult subjects such as moving out or having limited financial resources can be avoided until they are older if possible. The focus should be on maintaining some sense of normality while dealing with new changes that come along once the divorce has been finalized.
Encourage Your Children To Express All Their Feelings
If you want your children to try and move past the divorce faster, they need to express all their feelings about everything that has happened between you and the other parent before time passes. It may be helpful for them to write in a journal, draw pictures in a notebook, play dolls or act out scenarios with toys that help them understand the situation better. If possible it may also be helpful for you to ask your kids if they would like to talk about what is bothering/her so that they are not bottling their feelings up inside. Things are easier when children have an outlet where they can let it all out before emotions get too overwhelming later on after time has passed.
Protecting your children during a divorce is extremely important for both of you. If you can remain calm, and patient while going through such a difficult time in your life, then it will go a long way towards helping them get through the process faster and easier. Maintaining a healthy routine by sticking to it, and reassuring them that everything will be alright in the end will help them stay positive and happy long term. Keep these tips in mind to help protect your kids before, during, and after the divorce has taken place, and ensure that you let them know how much they are loved and cherished by both parents.
