Mums might have heard the term “special needs” before. It is kind of a catch-all you can use to describe autistic children or learning-disabled ones. Some mums even say special needs when they describe an ADHD-diagnosed child.
Being a mum is no cakewalk, but it is even more challenging if you have a special needs child. You can feel exhausted sometimes. It goes beyond the physical, though: you might feel like you are living your entire life for your child’s betterment.
This can impact your relationships. If you’re co-parenting with a partner or spouse, you might sometimes feel like the magic is no longer there between the two of you because you have to worry about your special needs child so much.
While caring for a special needs child takes a lot out of you, there are ways a parent can quickly reconnect with their spouse or partner. It is vital to do so if you are going to live happily together.
Arrange Date Nights
Some special needs child situations start at birth, while other times, your child might deal with an injury instead. Maybe:
- An accident occurs
- They suffer a sports injury
That might mean brain impairment. The cognitive effects of brain impairment are such that they may seem very similar to a genetic condition. Your child might struggle to learn at the same pace as the rest of their class after an injury, and you will have to seek professional intervention.
It does not so much matter how your child is differently-abled, though. You might feel that, in taking care of them, you are drifting apart from your partner or spouse.
Remember that they are going through the same thing you are. Arranging a date night when the two of you can be out of the house together is a great way to rekindle some much-needed romance. Maybe you can even get a hotel room if you feel comfortable spending one night away from your child.
For that to work, you will need to get a trusted babysitter. Maybe a relative or neighbour can do it if you ask them nicely.
Leave Notes for Them
Perhaps you spend a lot of your day taking care of your special needs child, and you don’t see your spouse or partner as much as you’d like. It is undoubtedly hard on both you and them.
You can leave a note for them each day somewhere where they will discover it. A Post-It note with a simple heart and an “I love you” on it works great.
This lets them know that:
- You still feel strongly for them
- You think about them and do not take them for granted
If they are out of the house working a lot, finding that note before they leave in the morning can brighten their mood. It signals to them that you appreciate the sacrifices they make for the family, especially if they work doing a job they don’t necessarily love.
You Can Text with Them Throughout the Day
If you are apart from your spouse or partner throughout most of the day, you can also exchange some text messages with them if it is appropriate to do so. Some jobs frown on that sort of thing, but if your spouse or partner has a free moment, it might make them feel good to hear about your day.
Relationships struggle when the two people involved stop caring about how the other one is. If you still love your partner or spouse, you will want to hear about their day, and vice versa.
Do not Miss a Chance to Say You Love Them
Also, it never hurts to tell your spouse or partner that you love them at some point during the day. Maybe they are having a tough day, while you are at home with your child. Getting a simple text from you saying you love and appreciate them can work wonders.
They probably need no reminder of why they get up early and put in long hours, but it is still lovely to hear from you. You can even take a picture of you and your child, or children, smiling and enjoying your morning or afternoon. It is a pleasant pick-me-up that indicates closeness and family unity.
Arrange a Date at Home
Maybe you want a little time away from your child or children occasionally, but you cannot do the whole dinner and hotel thing because of financial constraints. Many families do not have as much money this year, with the pandemic closing businesses.
Instead, perhaps you can drop your child or children off with a relative or neighbour for an evening, or even overnight. You can have the house to yourselves, and have a nice meal, or snuggle up in bed and watch a movie. These are the things you might miss a little bit if you have kids.
You Can Meet Them for Lunch
If your child is safe going back to school amid Covid-19 concerns, you can also meet your spouse or significant other for lunch during a workday. Maybe you are both working now, but you can still find time to take an hour off and meet somewhere.
Perhaps you can eat at a public park if you are nervous about sitting in an indoor restaurant right now. Outdoors, you do not need face coverings, and this is undoubtedly a viable option during the fall before the weather gets too cold. Of course, if your family resides in a region that does not get very cold in the winter, you do not need to have any concern about that.
Both of you probably love your special needs child very much, but at the same time, they are undoubtedly a handful. You might forget to connect if you are both so busy during the days trying to take care of them, working, doing chores, putting dinner on the table, etc.
You still need to find time to let each other know you care. If you do not connect with one another every day, drifting apart is easy.
