Contemplating motherhood – life with a daughter

Before becoming a Mum I used to dream of having children from a young age.  I always wanted at least one of each but I knew I wanted a daughter first.  Don’t ask me why because I don’t know.  Whenever I thought of myself as a Mum, it always began with life with a daughter.  Perhaps because I grew up having such a close bond with my own Mum, it was something I wished for my future too.

Life with a daughter

Until you have one of each gender you really don’t notice just how different they can be.  Lillie has been Miss Independence and extremely tenacious from the word go, like Mother, like Daughter in that regard.  When she was little it used to drive me to distraction but the older she gets the more I admire her for it.  She is always happy to make her own decisions and stand by them, even if it means doing something alone.  She knows what she wants and she will do it.  The boys care more about what others think and have a need to ‘fit in’.

Senior School

Now that Lillie has moved to senior school it feels like she has found her place.  She is happy in school, has made lots of new friends and joined clubs.  She isn’t afraid to volunteer for activities which are a little out of her comfort zone or trying new things.  This was the time in her life that I was most worried about but she has shown me what an amazing and resilient young lady she is.

Future Prom Nights

This has given me the chance to relax a little and look to her future, to the events that as a Mother will mean the world.  When I was at Senior School, many, many years ago we didn’t have proms but today they are the norm and in no time at all I know we will be celebrating Lillie’s first prom.  Each year I watch as friends children celebrate this rite of passage as they come of age. I watch in awe as these young girls are transformed into beautiful swans as they don their stunning prom dresses and think, one day that will be Lillie.  Being of such slight build I have often asked in my mind “how will we find a prom dress to suit you” but I guess we have a few more years growth so her shape will no doubt change.

The bit I am dreading

I don’t even want to think about the clubbing years when I think back to the minuscule clothes that I wore myself, I won’t have a leg to stand on when I tell her “you’re not going out in that”. The clock watching until she is safely home tucked up in bed or the nights where she stays at friends, I don’t know which will be worse?!

Being the role model

What I have to keep reminding myself as the mother of a daughter is how similar to me she is and that I turned out okay (I think) and for now she looks up to me as a role model.  As a Mum, I try to show my children that it’s good to have fun and let your hair down but to always be safe and show kindness and consideration for others.

Will she marry and have children?

I’d like to think that one day Lillie will marry and have children of her own.  I love the idea of going wedding dress shopping with her as I have no doubt she will make a beautiful bridge and I have dreams of wedding photo sharing with a look of pride on my face.  Perhaps one day?

So far, Lillie tells me she probably won’t have children, she thinks she may adopt as she doesn’t like the idea of childbirth.  Whatever her journey to motherhood I really hope she tries it at least with one child as the one thing which everyone agrees on is how brilliant Lillie is with young children, she has patience and softness with them which makes my heart melt.

Pride, always

Whatever Lillie’s future holds, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will always be proud of her.  Already she is one of my best friends, she knows how to make me laugh or how to pick me up when I am down.  She works hard and has a determination which will see her succeed.  Her future is bright and I will be right there with a beaming smile on my face to watch it.

Do you dream of your children’s futures?