Becoming a parent is high on the list of greatest moments of all time. There’s nothing like the bliss of holding your new baby in your arms. But as beautiful as those first moments are, your first few months as a new parent can be difficult.
Sleep deprivation, breastfeeding difficulties, exhaustion and lifestyle adjustments are all part of the challenges that new parents will face. Luckily, there are ways to navigate through these difficulties.
Sleep Deprivation
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There’s a reason veteran parents urge new parents to enjoy their sleep while they can. Once you have a baby, your days of dictating when and how long you sleep are over, at least for the first few months.
Sleep satisfaction and duration sharply decline in the first three months postpartum, with women being more affected than men. Both parents may not return to their pre-parenthood sleep patterns until the child is well into their early-education years.
Sleep deprivation usually happens because parents are trying to get used to nighttime feedings, the baby has yet to establish a real sleep schedule, or because of the stress of parenting. Lack of sleep can lead to insomnia, daytime sleepiness, and worsened postpartum depression symptoms.
You need sleep to be at your best as a person and parent. One of the best things you can do to navigate sleep deprivation is to accept help from others. Allow your parents to watch the baby for a day or two so you can catch up on sleep. Let your best friend come over to watch the baby while you nap for a couple of hours. Switch off with your spouse for nighttime feedings.
If you’re struggling with sleep deprivation, lean on your circle of support for help.
Breastfeeding Difficulties
Just over 70% of mothers experienced breastfeeding difficulties. The most common breastfeeding challenges include:
- Sore or cracked nipples;
- Breast engorgement;
- Blocked milk ducts;
- Too much breast milk;
- Trouble with the baby latching on;
- Not enough breast milk.
Breastfeeding difficulties affect not only the mother but the father as well.
For example, if the mother and father are in a relationship, the mother’s stress and sadness related to not being able to breastfeed can affect how she treats her partner. The father might also feel stressed and sad watching his significant other and baby struggle.
One of the most outdated pieces of parenting advice is, “You’re a bad mother if you don’t breastfeed.” This is not true. Loved ones may mean well in what they’re trying to say, but please don’t take it to heart.
If you’ve done all you can to make breastfeeding work and are still struggling, there’s nothing wrong with transitioning to a recommended FDA-regulated baby formula with the proper nutrients. Work with your doctor to find the best solution.
Emotional and Physical Exhaustion
Sleep deprivation and breastfeeding difficulties alone can trigger emotional and physical exhaustion. You can’t get any sleep, so your body can’t rest and repair itself for the next day. And it’s overwhelming to see your baby upset because you’re having trouble breastfeeding.
There are plenty of other parenting woes in the first few months that cause emotional and physical exhaustion, such as:
- Neglecting to eat well and exercise;
- Discord in your romantic relationship;
- Your baby getting their first injury or illness;
- Having trouble getting your baby to stop crying;
- Feeling like you aren’t doing enough for your baby.
Emotional and physical exhaustion, although common, don’t have to win. Self-compassion can keep you healthy and happy during the early months of parenthood.
When you’re compassionate, you’re able to acknowledge the pain or challenge you’re going through without judgement. You’re also patient, warm, and exceptionally kind to yourself as you cope with what’s going on. You can become more self-compassionate by:
- Asking yourself what you need and providing it;
- Analyzing your inner voice and ensuring it’s inherently positive;
- Writing a supportive letter to yourself that you can read in times of struggle;
- Being as understanding of yourself as you would a friend who’s going through a challenge.
Adjusting to New Responsibilities
Parenting changes everything. Aside from the responsibilities associated with raising a newborn, you’re also faced with how to navigate old responsibilities with the addition of a new child.
Maybe you’re down to one income for the first few months. Maybe one of you is having trouble navigating home responsibilities while taking care of the baby. Maybe you still have to study to obtain your degree. Maybe running errands looks different.
Whatever it is, if you don’t figure out a way to adjust to new responsibilities, it can add significant stress to your life, impacting the way you parent, run your household, and engage in your relationship.
Communicating with your partner is key to navigating this transitional period. You’ll need to sit down and define roles and responsibilities to ensure you both feel able and supported during the early months of new parenthood. You can also determine how things will evolve after the first three months.
Conclusion
Let’s just put it out there. Parenting in the early months of your baby’s life is exhilarating but also incredibly exhausting and challenging. Instead of ignoring the real possibility of challenges arising in the early months, expect them.
When you expect the challenges to happen, you’ll hopefully be inspired to learn more about them and how to navigate them. Armed with this knowledge, you can put a plan in place to move through these challenges gracefully without disrupting how joyful parenting a new baby can be.
