Figuring out whether you should change your appearance for your partner is always a complex decision and not one you want to take lightly. Yes, on the one hand, you want to make them happy. But on the other hand, you also want them to love and respect you for who you are.
This question is difficult because it gets into the weeds of what a relationship is all about. On the one hand, you want someone who will stand by you, no matter what. But on the other hand, you feel a desire to look beautiful and attractive to your partner because that also meets their needs.
Here are some factors you might want to consider if you’re in this situation:
Is There Reciprocity?
The first consideration is, as always, reciprocity. This is the idea that people in a relationship should help each other (If I scratch your back, you should scratch mine).
If your partner is constantly trying to make themselves attractive to you, then you might want to reciprocate by doing something for them. That could be removing body hair, exercising more, or saying no to buckets of fried chicken. However, if your partner is doing none of those things but expects you to do them, that could be a problem because it doesn’t seem fair.
The trick here is to strike a balance. You don’t want a lopsided relationship where one individual is putting in all the effort.
Is There A Psychological Impact?
Another consideration is whether there’s a psychological impact of the change. For example, getting a nose job could boost your self-esteem and continue to serve you for the rest of your life. However, other changes may not have the same effect.
Often, you will also find that making these changes has a positive impact on your relationship. Your partner isn’t constantly thinking about it all the time, allowing you both to focus on other things, like running a household or enjoying a Sunday afternoon together.
Therefore, you might see it as a way to strengthen your relationship. It could help.
Is There Communication?
Another factor to consider is the level of communication between you and your partner. What is the reason that they want you to change your appearance?
Usually, it’ll be because of aesthetics. However, it could also be healthy. They may fear losing you.
Then there are deeper insecurities, like what their friends and family will think.
This topic is tricky and thorny, but knowing what’s really going on can help. If you’ve tried changing before and it didn’t help matter, there could be a deeper problem at play.
Is There Respect?
Lastly, it is worth considering the motivation behind the request. For example, is it respectful, or does it come off as controlling?
Furthermore, is it extreme? Could you actually achieve it if you wanted to?
For some people, requests may cross boundaries. But for others, it might just be fun and enhance your relationship with each other even further than before.