Nobody likes to think about death, least of all me. I was always that child who would cry for hours at bedtime to my Mum about how frightened I was about death. I would like to say that I have grown out of it but in all honesty, it’s still something which will keep me awake from time to time, probably more so since becoming a Mum as I worry that I will be taken away from them and miss out on their life, on watching them grow but the truth is it will happen to all of us eventually. I just hope that my time is when I am very old, once I have had the opportunity to see my children grow into happy, successful adults that I can be proud of and hopefully with children of their own.
Every day people are taken away from their loved ones too early often with questions unanswered which is why this week, National Transplant Week, I want to let my family know my wishes . . .
When the time comes for me to leave this Earth I will take all my memories and your love with me. I will no longer have needs for my organs and I want them to go on to help someone else who needs them, if my passing can help someone else to get more time with their loved ones then it will make me happy. Years ago I used to carry a Donor Card but I have changed purses and handbags so many times that I don’t even know where it is anymore. There is now an Organ Donor Register where you can make your wishes known. Daddy already knows my wishes but that isn’t always enough. Did you know that often in death if people’s wishes are written down in black and white for others to read their wishes can be overridden by a grieving family who do not want to part with any part of their loved ones. When my time comes the only part of me that I would not wish to donate would be my eyes, I don’t have a particular reason I just know that I want to keep them. As for the rest of me I hope that it can help as many people as possible to carry on to enjoy the rest of their life with their loved ones as I have done with mine.
Did you know. . .
- Just 45% of families agree to organ donation going ahead if they are unaware of their loved one’s decision to be a donor but this figure rises to 95% when they know the decision
I have been asked to write this post to raise awareness for National Transplant Week so that precious lives may be saved when others have moved onto the next part of their journey. Why not carry on reading about other’s wishes by following this blog post trail to the Grit Doctor.
DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a Sponsored Post.
Deciding not to donate eyes (or more accurately cornea) seems a bit off. My son had a kidney transplant from a deceased donor last year when he was just six and had his life given back to him. In the uncertainty of his undiagnosed condition there could be complications with his sight so it is possible that in the future he will become blind also. This is devastating news, probably more devastating than his chronic kidney disease which can be relieved, if only for limited amounts of time, through dialysis and transplant (a cycle that will be repeated through his shortened life). Corneal transplant would dramatically change a person’s life just as much as any other organ. Living without sight after having experiencing the wonders of it must be almost unbearable, imagine not seeing your own children’s faces change as they grow up, or seeing another emotionally lifting sunset. Knowing people often choose to keep their eyes after death denying another of the gift of sight because they feel a bit squeamish is just as bad as keeping any other organ inside you as your body wastes away. What are you going to do with them?
Thank you for taking the time to comment and I do take on board what you say but surely that is my right to make this decision? I could be completely selfish and say I’m not prepared to donate any part of me as many people do but I’m not, I want to help as many people as possible. It’s nothing to do with feeling squeamish, it’s about my own beliefs of death and the afterlife. I’m sorry if this upsets you.
I agree with PJ. I’ve never understood the ‘not donating my eyes’ thing. They only take a tiny part of your eye – the cornea. In what afterlife would you need your corneas but not your kidneys?
Thank you for commenting Rosie. As I said to PJ everyone has their own thoughts, feelings and beliefs. This relates to mine and since they are my eyes/corneas then it remains my decision.
I was fortunate enough to receive a new liver 8 months ago having waited twoyears. It is amazing. Mylife is fantastic now – I have so much energy, my kids have their mum and I will see then grow up. I will be forever gratful for this gift.
Sarah that is so lovely to hear, I’m really pleased for you and your family. I bet those two years were an agonising wait for you x
But what are your beliefs based on? Do you believe missing your corneas would prevent you from an ‘afterlife’ of some sort? I am struggling to understand the process in which you have decided what you are happy to part with and what you’d rather keep to yourself rather than helping someone see again. Do you not consider it life changing enough? If you’re not going to need it, but someone else is desperate for it, why throw it away just because you feel it’s your right? Do you consider this morally right? Would you change your mind if it was your child needing a corneal transplant? Can you empathise with those parents who are hoping someone did tick that box and are struggling to understand why someone wouldn’t? You’ve not given a reason, true, but most I’ve spoken to say it’s because they feel icky thinking about someone removing part of their eye. You’ve been lucky to have been born with sight, but you seem happy to waste the opportunity to grant someone else your luck. It is your right, doesn’t make it ‘right’ though. I teach my kids that if they have something they don’t want or need that rather than throw it away give it to someone who’ll appreciate it… all of it.
I feel sorry that this post is receiving such negativity. I chose to write this post to help raise awareness of the need for transplant donors in the hope that more people will sign the Donor Register, as I and my family have done, and hopefully save a life. It makes me sad that you are picking out one negative aspect in a whole myriad of positives and trying to ‘dig’ me out as being harsh, uncaring and wasteful as you couldn’t have got me more wrong. I completely understand that you feel strongly about this and I’m sure I would to if we were talking about any of my children but the thing is, I do not have to explain my beliefs or what they are based on as that is between me and my family.
I have signed quite a few Doners up , I try my best to promote organ and blood donation , most of the people I have signed up have said they would donate everything except their eyes when I asked why most said they want to see where they are going
Thank you for commenting Mark, to some extent that explains how I feel. My Husband and I are also blood donors and my Husband is also on the Anthony Nolan register for Bone Marrow. He was selected last year but in the final stages was considered not to be a match.
On the 8th of July 2013 my brother was admitted to hospital having suffered a massive heart attack, he was kept alive by machines.We were approached by the specialist donor nurses and asked if we would consider donating my brothers organs.My brother had never been on the list or ever expressed his wishes .We as a family said yes to his organs being donated but my elderly mum said she didn’t want his eyes to be donated .it was her one stipulation , in our time of absolute grief we still made the decision to give a gift of life.x
Trudy I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It’s an amazing thing that you and your family did in donating his organs and I completely understand your wishes in regards to his eyes. I hope that your loss was eased (for want of a better word) by the knowledge that you were helping others. I am sure that your brother will be forever in your hearts x
I have the same wishes as IammMummyMatters, take my organs but please leave my eyes. This is a personal choice, one which resulted in me becoming a donor at all. I wasn’t comfortable with making any of my organs available for donation. After lengthy discussion with my husband I decided what I was happy to donate but please leave my eyes. I feel this is a better compromise than not donating anything.
Zoe I completely agree, better to be able to donate most rather than nothing at all. Thank you for commenting x
This isn’t a negative post. You are expressing your wishes which every person has the right to do. X
Thank you Trudy, I appreciate your comment x
I have signed everything up but my eyes… I personally believe they are the gateway to my soul! Anything is better than nothing and they can take the rest of my gibblets haha :p
Thank you for commenting Cathy it’s great to hear that you have signed up too and that I’m not alone on the ‘eyes’ front 🙂