We were nurtured and provided for by our parents, even when it meant that they had to forego some of their own needs. As our parent’s age, they require increasing degrees of assistance with everyday tasks such as food preparation, medication management, and health care decisions.
It’s hard to know how to help seniors without taking over since many are reluctant to ask for or accept help from others. In addition to possible health concerns, even the everyday activities we are able to complete without giving it a second thought such as walking and cleaning can become quite difficult.
You can reciprocate their unconditional love by making their life easier and a bit more comfortable by helping them in any way you can.
Evaluate Their Needs
When caring for ageing parents, you often don’t know exactly what needs to be done. Taking a step back will help you understand how much help your parents need to cope with day-to-day activities.
Consider the aspects of support they may need:
- Help with meal preparation
- Mobility assistance
- Consider home safety
- Cognitive health
- Community, friends, and family support
- Assistance with personal hygiene
- Instigate social interaction
- Medical needs services
What kind of support do they already receive from each category and how much help do they really need to stay healthy and safe? Keeping track of everything they need will help you determine what services they require if you’re not able to help them yourself.
Your mother, for instance, may be self-sufficient at home, being able to prepare her own meals, but may not be able to drive herself to her doctor’s appointments or shop for food. She may therefore benefit from mobility assistance, such as an electric wheelchair or driving service.
Reach Out To Them Regularly
In order to maintain a healthy and loving relationship between you, your parents, and other family members, it is essential for you to communicate with them now, while they are still in relatively good health, as well as when they age. It is understandable that people might feel hurt, betrayed, or forgotten if communication channels break down.
Sometimes, communication is crucial for keeping isolated individuals connected to the rest of the world. According to research, regularly communicating with seniors can help them remain positive and reduce feelings of depression and loneliness. If you suspect your parents are feeling lonely, it would be a good idea to get your grandkids to call them.
Our older and younger family members can benefit from spending as much time together as they possibly can. Having kids around can bring a lot of joy to the elderly, as they have warm and infectious energy.
Suggest, Rather than Insist, on In-Home Care
It’s important to understand that a decline in their physical abilities does not render them mentally incapable. Assure your parents that they are in complete control of the decision about whether to hire in-home elderly care support if and when the time comes. When hiring in-home care, involve your parents in the interview process or in deciding the schedule. Allow them to pick a certain day of the week or time of the day when they want a home health aide to visit.
Make it clear that you and your parents both stand to benefit from extra help, and that hiring someone else is not a reflection of their burden on you. Help them understand that it’s only a matter of lightening the load and easing your worries. Hopefully, they’ll agree with you. This is when you introduce the list of care assistance tasks you made earlier.
Avoid Treating Them Like Children
While it may appear that you and your parents are switching roles at times, assisting elderly parents who stubbornly refuse assistance is easier if they are acknowledged and treated with respect.
As you try to provide assistance to elderly parents who refuse help, keep in mind that the goal is to ensure they receive the best care for their needs- as well as yours. Dealing with a stubborn parent is different from dealing with a stubborn child. It is best for older people to remain independent, as much as possible.
If you treat your ageing parents as the adult they are, you will likely see positive results, especially if they are hesitant to seem like a burden. This applies both to simple tasks, such as making sure your parents remember to take the bins out, as well as more challenging tasks, such as ensuring they get any medical treatment they may need.
It might seem straightforward to assist parents in need, but many adult children worry about how to help their parents if they are stubborn or concerned about being a burden. Communicating openly and honestly will help both parties deal with any concerns. And hopefully, you and your parents can relax knowing you have done everything possible to create a comfortable life for both of you.
