There are moments as a parent when something you watch stops you in your tracks. Not just because it’s shocking—but because it lingers. It quietly asks a question you can’t ignore:
Is this the world my children are growing up in?
Watching Louis Theroux’s Into the Manosphere was one of those moments for me.
It wasn’t just uncomfortable—it was deeply unsettling. What struck me most was how normalised it all felt. The casual dismissal of women. The confidence in those views. The absence of challenge.
Seeing voices like Myron Gaines speak about women as though their only value lies in what they can offer men was difficult to watch. Not because it’s new—but because it’s being repackaged and delivered directly to young, impressionable audiences.
And that’s where the concern around toxic masculinity becomes very real.
According to organisations like NSPCC, young people are increasingly influenced by online content that shapes their understanding of relationships, identity and self-worth—often without parental awareness.
As a mum raising boys in today’s world, that matters.
The Reality of Raising Boys in a Digital World
I feel confident in how we’re raising our children. Kindness, respect and emotional awareness are non-negotiables in our home.
But parenting teens in the UK today comes with a new layer of complexity.
We are no longer the sole influence.
Our children are growing up online—absorbing content, opinions and attitudes from people they’ve never met. And the most concerning part? Some of these voices present themselves as role models. As guides. As the solution to feeling lost or uncertain.
That’s what makes the rise of “alpha male” messaging so dangerous.
It doesn’t look harmful on the surface. It looks confident. Successful. Persuasive.
But underneath, it often promotes control over connection. Dominance over respect.
As a mum to a teenage daughter as well, I see both sides. My concern isn’t just who my boys might listen to—but who my daughter might meet. Because toxic attitudes don’t always show up immediately. They can be hidden behind charm, humour and confidence.
When “Banter” Crosses the Line
We recently watched I’m a Celebrity…South Africa as a family, and what should have been light entertainment became something much more thought-provoking.
Watching Adam Thomas being repeatedly targeted—particularly by David Haye—was difficult to ignore.
It highlighted something we see far too often, especially among teens.
The idea that unkindness can be dismissed as “banter.”
The subtle digs. The repeated undermining. The slow build-up that pushes someone to their limit.
And then, when they finally react—they’re labelled the problem.
Research from YoungMinds shows that ongoing peer pressure and social dynamics can significantly impact young people’s mental health, particularly when behaviour is minimised or dismissed.
As parents, we recognise this pattern because we’ve seen it ourselves—in schools, friendships, and social groups.
Children who are kind. Children who treat others well. Children who simply want to belong.
And yet, they still find themselves targeted.
What Our Children Are Really Learning
What stayed with me most was how our children reacted.
They weren’t entertained—they were uncomfortable. They recognised the unfairness. They felt empathy.
And that reminded me of something important:
Children are not just watching—they are learning.
They are forming their understanding of relationships, respect and acceptable behaviour from what they see around them—both online and on screen.
Which is why we talk. A lot.
We discuss what we see on TV. We challenge messages. We question behaviours.
Because raising boys today isn’t about shielding them from the world—it’s about helping them understand it.
Parenting Teens: Why Conversations Matter More Than Ever
In our home, we come back to the same values again and again:
Be kind.
Be respectful.
Be honest about how you feel.
Simple—but powerful.
We don’t parent our boys differently because they are boys. We parent them to be good humans.
That means teaching them that strength isn’t about dominance. It’s about character.
It means helping them understand that respect isn’t automatic—it’s earned through how you treat others.
And perhaps most importantly, it means creating a space where they feel safe to talk openly. About what they see. What they hear. What confuses them.
Because silence is where harmful ideas take root.
The Role of Parents, Schools and Social Media
There’s a lot of conversation around who is responsible for tackling toxic masculinity.
Social media platforms? Absolutely—they need to act faster and more responsibly when harmful content spreads.
Schools? Many are doing their best to reinforce positive behaviour and emotional education.
But the strongest influence will always come from home.
Because children don’t just hear what we say—they watch what we do.
They notice how we speak to each other.
How we handle conflict.
How we show respect—or don’t.
And while most parents are doing their best, there are still gaps. Children growing up without guidance, without boundaries, or learning the wrong behaviours through what is modelled around them.
That’s where change has to start.
Redefining Masculinity for the Next Generation
There is a loud narrative online about what it means to be a man.
But I don’t want my boys learning that strength is about control or intimidation.
To me, a good man is someone who shows kindness without hesitation. Who respects others without condition. Who has the emotional strength to stand up for what’s right—even when it’s uncomfortable.
That’s the kind of masculinity we should be celebrating.
Not the loudest voice in the room—but the one with the strongest values.
Why I Still Feel Hopeful
Despite everything, I feel hopeful.
Because I see kindness in my children every single day.
In the way they treat others.
In the empathy they show.
In their ability to recognise when something isn’t right.
Kindness hasn’t disappeared.
It just needs to be protected. Reinforced. Encouraged.
Because raising respectful, emotionally aware children in today’s world isn’t just good parenting.
It’s one of the most important things we can do.