Being a caregiver in any capacity can take its toll. Any parent will carry an invisible weight that is emotional labour, juggling appointments, chores, and feelings all at the same time. So many people think that self-care is something linked to vanity or even indulgent, such as when we talk about superficial surgeries or beauty routines. The fact is that if you want to rebuild yourself outside and in, you’ve got to find the right productive ways so you can handle caregiver stress that doesn’t just patch things over but helps you rebuild balance and perspective, including the following:
Look at What It Takes to Make You Feel Happier in Yourself
Even if it’s outside, the fact is the person that stares back at us in the mirror we may not tend to like, and this is where vanity can absolutely have a place in your life. Stress is one of those things that affects people in different ways. For example, many caregivers have experienced hair falling out, and this is why, actually, something like a hair transplant is not beyond the realms of possibility because it’s something that you absolutely deserve.
While so many of us think that happiness is supposed to come from the inside out, that is true, but sometimes we just need those little shortcuts that can ensure that we do tap into those innate senses of vanity. This is why the external things, like how you look and your posture, can actually affect what goes on the inside. This TED talk by Amy Cuddy provides a really useful insight into power poses and what the external can do to influence the internal.
Learning to Say “No”
Stop being a martyr. Caregivers don’t need to show that every little burden is theirs alone, and you’ve got to stop thinking like that. Learning to delegate and saying no are two things that can make you a far healthier caregiver, because they recognise that you have limits and protect them.
Nobody can pour from an empty cup, so ask others to help and actually accept their way of doing things because the fact is as a caregiver you’ve got into the rut of doing things your own way, but while you may prefer a task done differently, shared responsibility is going to share the burden, and this means that your emotional health is more likely to stay intact.
Fill Your Cup With the Right Activities
What did you do before you became a caregiver? Those things that you loved were key to your identity, and they still are. Engaging in something purely for joy is not selfish; it actually gives you space for emotional recovery and time to solve the problems that occur in your everyday life.
You don’t need hours upon hours, but building a routine where you do something just for you every single day can reframe your entire perspective.
Caregiving is an act of deep love, but the love needs to flow in both directions, inside and out. When you manage your stress productively, you shift from reaction to intention, meaning you care for yourself the same way you do others. It’s a very simple thing, but you deserve care, too. Really.