When I found out I was pregnant again, obviously I was over the moon at the prospect of being a mummy again but I also started to think about my past pregnancy with Baby Bean. Suddenly visions of nausea and exhaustion struck me, the agonizing skin condition PUPP that I suffered from for approximately two weeks and let’s not even mention the labour!! But of course, that’s all totally manageable when at the end of it all you have this beautiful little bundle of love nestled in your arms.
Recently though, I’ve remembered a few other aspects of pregnancy which had slipped my mind – one, strangely enough being the “useless memory”. I’ve had to start writing lists as I forget everything, thank goodness Baby Bean now says “Dinner” when she is hungry or I fear I would even forget to feed her! I wake up in the mornings and think of all the things I want to accomplish that day and by the time I’ve put my breakfast in the bowl, my mind is empty. Each week Baby Bean goes to Nanny and Grandad’s for an afternoon (a) to have some quality time with them and (b) to give me a bit of “me time”. Each week I say to myself I’m going to do this, this and this when she’s at Nanny’s and yet the minute that she has walked out the door I can’t think of a single thing that I need to do. I still get things done, but as I sit in the evening talking to Hubby it all comes flooding back to me, all those “oh so important” jobs that I’ve missed yet again. This is actually the part of pregnancy that I hate the most, I can put up with sickness, almost put up with exhaustion and let’s face it, labour is just a necessary but worthwhile evil! But having a rubbish memory drives me up the wall, ask anyone and they will tell you I’m an organised person. I always like to have things just “so”, I have always felt at one with Monica from Friends in her OCD ways and I’ve been happy with that but now that I keep forgetting things I get so angry with myself. Obviously there’s not much I can do and hopefully my memory will return to some extent but in the meantime . . . . . . oh damn it I forgot what I was going to say!
The other aspect of pregnancy which I had forgotten was the emotional rollercoaster. I keep finding myself crying at Eastenders, Neighbours even The Hills! As I sit here typing this post, I’m blubbing to Beaches – ok so probably not the best film to watch when you’re feeling a little emotionally unstable. I have seen it approximately 24 times and have cried every single time – Hubby Sky+d it for me so there, I’ve watched it again for another year. But seriously, I even cried when reading a book the other night and I have NEVER cried whilst reading a book! I have cried because Baby Bean is crying, because she is laughing or even just because I’ve felt so much love for her when I look at her. I’m sure I’m not the only Mum/Mummy to Be that is like this, please tell me I’m not?
There’s a funny beeping sound, oh yes I forgot the tea is in the oven! Night night!