Do you really forget the pain of labour?

My head is spinning right now – I’m 10 days off my due date and starting to get a little anxious about the birth of my second baby.  I’ve been getting more and more painful period pains which I don’t remember getting last time.  Monday night I went to bed fully expecting my waters to break in the middle of the night because I felt so rough throughout the evening, so imagine my disappointment when I awoke Tuesday morning to find that nothing had happened!

This morning I was woken at 6.30pm by horrendous period pains but here we are at nearly 10am and they’ve pretty much gone.  I’ve never been a sufferer of period pains so I’m not very good when I do get them, they totally mess with my concentration and ability to stick to just one task.  I wouldn’t say that I have a particularly low pain threshold but I hate annoying pains that just hang around.

I’m starting to wonder if this labour is going to be more painful than the first because apparently my cervix will dilate much quicker than the during my first labour because, basically it has already been stretched – a bit like an old balloon I suppose.  The first time you blow it up you feel like you could pass out from the effort needed but if you let it go and then blow it up again, its much easier the second time.  That’s how I’m thinking about my cervix anyway.  During my first labour my pains were all in my legs, which surprised me as obviously I wasn’t expecting them there but I have been getting aches and pains in my thighs again so perhaps my body is getting ready.

Obviously I’ve been thinking about the labour quite a lot recently and thinking back to last time.  They say that you forget the pain of labour, which to a certain extent I agree with.  When Little Bean was placed in my arms it was like the last 8 hours hadn’t happened to me – I had the most precious, beautiful little bundle in my arms.  But 27 months on, I’m starting to remember the pain of that labour quite clearly, I have the same philosophy as last time, it went in so its got to come out but that doesn’t mean its going to be fun and giggles all the way.  It will be worth it in the end but the bit before is the bit that’s bugging me.  I always said that I would wait to have my second child until they had invented a pain free method of pushing, apparently that hasn’t happened so I must have misread the guidelines somewhere!?

So to all you Mums out there who are second, third and fourth timers etc etc, what advice can you give an ever so slightly frightened and IMPATIENT second-time-mum-to-be on her impending labour?  I know for a fact that eating pineapples, curries, bumpy roads, sex and raspberry leaf tea don’t work for me – Little Bean was the full 2 weeks late!  But I’m still drinking raspberry leaf tea like its going out of fashion because I do believe that it made my contractions more efficient and kept my labour quite short.  What can you tell me about the pains, is it worse second time around?  Do you really have bigger babies?  Little Bean was only 7lb 5oz so I’m aiming for 8lb this time.  I do want to do things differently, I want to try for a more active birth this time, walking, standing, bouncing on a ball etc and not getting stuck in a bed with stirrups like last time.  All help and advice gratefully received . . . . . .


  • kim cooper

    September 10 at 12:40 pm

    Hi Babe,
    HOPE YOU ARE ALL OK give my love to curly & baby bean, can’t wait to see Jacques (French bean)8.9 lb my reckoning (:0
    Just to answer a few questions lol:
    Much easier 2nd time round – it’ll be a breeze. Take a good book with you or a game to pass the time p’haps Twister would be fun!!!.
    I had 19 hrs labour and god knows how many stitches 1st time with 7.4lb baby
    2nd time 3.5 hours pains in my lower back – no stitches and 8.8lb baby
    much much easier 3rd time 10 mins labour where it was actually painful and no stitches again.
    So you need to have another to prove my point
    AND WHATEVER HAPPENS JUST REMEMBER IT’S ALL SIMONS FAULT – punish him hard for making you go through any pain lol
    Love to you all and good luck hon xxxxxx

    1. mummymatters

      September 10 at 2:28 pm

      Lovely to hear from you, thank you for your reassuring words – well apart from the 8.9lb bit!!!!! I have already told him its all his fault, lol!!
      Lots of love xxx

  • C,E & E

    September 10 at 6:10 pm

    Hey there, my 2nd was so fast, hence an home birth. And weighed less than my first if that makes it any easier xxx

    1. mummymatters

      September 11 at 10:12 am

      Thank you, anything positive helps xx

  • Whimsical Wife

    September 10 at 6:41 pm

    My first labour was incredibly fast just under 2 hours from start to finish and incredibly painful! My second labour was completely different, much slower, not as painful because I think I went into it expecting it to be far more horrendous than baby one and so because I expected the worst it was not as bad as I anticipated – yes it hurt but it was more manageable, I was more active and felt more in control and like I had more clue about what was happening. As for the babies getting bigger yes my did baby one 6lb7oz baby two 9lb10oz! He was eventually a c-sec as he was too big to come out…
    My advice (which I’d like you to remind me to follow nearer the time!!!) Is to be relaxed, be open minded about what may happen and don’t be afraid to ask for whatever you need. You never really know what you’re going to get until it’s over and you’ve had it. xx

    1. mummymatters

      September 11 at 10:12 am

      Blimey, that was a very quick first labour but I can imagine why it was so painful. I remember my first labour with a dark cloud so I’m hoping that this will be a better one because of my fears from last time. I guess we’ll soon find out. I have written a birth plan but I have put in big letters at the end of it, that basically I’m open to any advice that can be given at the time because I just want my baby out happy and healthy. I’m still looking at it with the same thoughts as last time, its only a time piece of time when you consider the length of your life but it will provide us with years of happiness and fulfillment!
      PS. I will remind you nearer the time xx

  • Dee

    September 17 at 9:22 am

    Mine got smaller. 8lb 3oz, 8lb 1oz and 7lb 1oz! Easier each time…had 3rd at home!
    Think of each contraction as it comes and deal with it….don’t think too far a head and remember every contraction brings you closer to meeting your baby so it’s a positive thing.
    You will be absolutely fine.
    Dee x

    1. mummymatters

      September 17 at 10:22 am

      Oooh there’s hope for me yet then!! I do want to try to think more positively, I also keep thinking prepare for the worst and then anything else SHOULD seem like a walk in the park – well ok not quite but you get my drift! Thanks xx

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