Have I failed my children? {Poor eating habits}

I was talking to my Mum last night about how hard I am finding mealtimes with the Beans at the moment.  Heck, not even at the moment, I’ve struggled with mealtimes for years.

@MummyMatters

History

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the history of my blog and the troubles we have faced with Little Bean’s eating issues I’ll give you a quick update.  Little Bean was breastfed until she was nearly 6 months old at the recommendation of the Midwives and Government at the time.  When I began trying to wean Little Bean she would spit, gag, scream and choke at all foods that I tried her with.

She eventually accepted semi-solid food at around 10 months but even then would be extremely awkward about the temperature, it had to be hot, luke warm would not suffice.  Over the next 7 years our journey has been a stressful one.  She is extremely reluctant to try new foods and gets herself into an hysterical state over the idea of it.  She only tends to eat breads, yoghurts, fish cake/chips, pancakes (with sugar or chocolate sauce) and sweet foods.

This is not a case of a ‘picky eater’ and believe me I have been very strict and when I say she won’t get anything else, she won’t get anything else but she is so strong-willed she would rather go without.

The Boys

Both boys started out well with their eating journeys, both were more open to trying new foods, both liked more fruit and vegetables with the odd bit of meat here and there.  Over time, they began to watch their big sister and copied her eating habits.  With the progression of Jelly Bean’s #problemswithpoop his eating has become even worse than Little Beans.

Beanie Boy is still the one who will try new foods if I give them to him and will have the odd school dinner but there are LOTS of foods that he doesn’t like either.

Where do I go from here? 

I have been talking with friends and family recently about not knowing what to do to help the three of them.  They all need a healthier diet as I can see that their diet has a direct effect on their behaviour and wellbeing.  What I don’t know is how to achieve that?  I said to my Mum last night that I want to be able to send them away to a food bootcamp so that someone else will set them straight and return them to me to eat good food but I know that’s not in the real world.

I would like to take away all of the rubbish food that they eat and replace it with clean foods like Hubby and I eat but I know that I will just end up (a) with three screaming kids and (b) lots of wasted food in the bin.

I have tried cooking with them which they all love to do but even when they have cooked it themselves, they still don’t want to eat it.  Beanie Boy doesn’t even eat his cakes when he has baked them (I help him out, don’t worry!).

I really am at my wits end with it all now and just want happy, healthy children.  Is that really too much to ask?

13 Comments

  1. December 9, 2016 / 4:27 am

    You haven’t failed your children. For whatever reason they have issues with food. As you know I am on a similar path with Tigger, so if you find that food boot camp let me know and I’ll book him in too.
    Sarah | Boo Roo and Tigger Too recently posted…One year injectionsMy Profile

    • December 10, 2016 / 8:11 pm

      Thank you Sarah, it just gets to that point every now and then that you really feel like you’ve hit the wall and I’m there right now. It all just seems so hard xx

  2. Caroline Johnson
    December 9, 2016 / 7:21 am

    Aww, Sabina I feel your pain. As you know I experience the same issues with Katie. You have to take a step back at some point and have faith that as long as she is getting her dairy for her growing bones and eating a selection (albeit small) of other foods, that no harm is going to come to her. If you don’t, you will go stir crazy (as I do on occasions!). You also must let the “If she was my child I’d sort her out” comments soar over your head. Just smile and acknowledge that they are obviously such a better parent than you! People mean well, but it is extremely hurtful when you’re already at your wits end. They are gorgeous girls. We’ll get there… x

    • December 10, 2016 / 8:13 pm

      Thank you Caroline, I think it’s the fact that it’s no longer just LB but the boys too. Whilst she does seem able to survive on her rubbish diet, JB in particular doesn’t and it’s making his pooping issues even worse. It all just feels so hard at the moment, I don’t seem to be getting any let up before the next big issue strikes. I feel completely done in and so so sad x

  3. December 9, 2016 / 7:57 am

    I really don’t know how you stay sane, I feel so lucky to have three good eaters. There is so much support when you are feeding babies but once it comes to weaning and beyond you are pretty much on your own aren’t you. I am sure it is nothing you have done ‘wrong’ but I can understand why you blame yourself I would too. I really hope things improve for you soon and you can find the help you all need to make mealtimes easier xx
    Mummy of two + 1 recently posted…Crafty stationery from Stationery Geek – A Review & GiveawayMy Profile

    • December 10, 2016 / 9:02 pm

      I think my next plan of attack will have to be a nutritionist to see if they can help me to get my monkeys on the straight and narrow x

  4. December 9, 2016 / 12:00 pm

    Hey lovely, saw your post on IG and thought I’d share my thoughts. As you know I don’t have little ones myself but I can honestly tell you that you’re not a failure, it’s just the sugar and simple carbs basically rewiring their brains so to speak, so they can’t help it any more than you can – and from kicking sugar and carbs as a grown adult I can confirm just how much our bodies learn to crave it! Personally I got through it by eating small squares of raw dark chocolate when the cravings got too much, plus I have ridiculous willpower, but even though Graeme’s a grown man he was a lot more challenging – I simply started swapping ingredients from his diet to “better” options, until gradually I got his sugar levels down, and then his carbs, whilst slowly upping the vegetables, protein and fat – honestly, unadulterated fats are a godsend and not the devil they’ve been made out to be! It’s all about counting our macronutrients really and researching every ingredient you put in your mouth, as boring as that sounds! And generally swapping any pre-packaged foods for homemade will instantly cut out a lot of addictive substances found lurking in processed foods. I found a link to a woman’s story who talks about doing this with her own kids, it’s a really interesting read and has some good swap suggestions http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinkadvice/11375030/Did-banning-sugar-turn-my-kids-into-sweet-little-angels.html I hope this helps! Good luck x

    • December 10, 2016 / 9:09 pm

      This is really helpful thank you Kayleigh and the article is great too. I only let them have sweets once a week and they don’t eat cake. They have one small pack of mini biscuits each day in their lunch but that’s it really and just a mousse, fruit pot or custard for dessert at tea time. I am definitely looking into how I can change their diet though and I fear the stress will only get worse before it gets better xx

  5. December 9, 2016 / 3:29 pm

    You have not failed your children-that needs to be stating and restated. The fact that you are trying every suggestions anyone gives you, have seen professional help, and still are willing to do more, proves you are your children’s champion. If worried about their nutritional levels, i guess the medical doctors should be able to work with you on what they will eat, and how to infuse more nutrition in those, while supports for food issues can continue to help you try options, but also give you the support you deserve.

    • December 10, 2016 / 9:26 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment, I think a nutritionist is perhaps my best next step with them. Fingers crossed x

  6. Alli Russell
    December 9, 2016 / 6:57 pm

    I wish I had the answers as mine are all pretty fussy too! I feel like I waste so much food as all the healthy meals I attempt to get them to eat end up in the bin. We always have a tantrum from one of them at meal times. We’ve tried cooking together too which they like be but still won’t eat it. The one thing I’ve found that does help a bit is serving their meals buffet style so they can serve themselves. Makes for more washing up though! x

    • December 10, 2016 / 9:27 pm

      Thank you for your comment Alli, I was only saying last weekend that perhaps if I try ‘buffet style’ it might help a little. I just worry that they will completely avoid the really ‘good’ stuff. I think it all just feels like one thing after another at the moment and my breaking point is just below the surface xx

  7. December 12, 2016 / 12:50 pm

    RIGHT STOP THERE LADY – FAILED ??? NO way. My kids eat half of what yours do, Deacon rotates 3 meals, one is pasta, one spaggetti and one is heinz toddlers meals. That is it! No bread, no meat, not even fruit only blended.
    I cry once a week about it, meal times are horrid if I create, I have seen soem of the top specialists in the country and guess what they say, don’t worry, don’t push them, if they are even happy to have food on the plate that is progress, they don’t have to eat it. They will not live this way forever.

    Have you heard of Oral Dyspraxia ? All 3 of mine have that and I think Little Bean may from what you are describing.

    You are doing everything ok, come have a chat with me on FB and I will explian the steps we have to do, but please please do not beat yourself up, people do judge and I say live a day in our life, Addison went a whole week without eating at school once before i put her on packed lunch, they will go hungry xx
    Kara recently posted…Mrs Emily Clarks Christmas DecorMy Profile

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