What do you do when you know your child keeps telling lies to you?

I completely understand that telling lies is part and parcel of a child’s development and growth but that doesn’t mean it’s an easy pill to swallow.  I really do my absolute best to try to bring my children up to be honest, caring and good children but somewhere along the way we seemed to have slipped off the main road a little.  Sure they are good children at heart and they are caring but I seem to be fighting an uphill battle with their behaviour at the moment.  I know that I’m a shouty Mum which isn’t great or how I want to be, I feel they have no respect for me and perhaps that’s why.

My Babies

Little Bean and Beanie Boy have recently discovered the joy that is ‘lying’ or ‘telling fibs’ as we prefer to call it.  Beanie Boy at only 3 years old is pretty rubbish at it, you only need to ask him once or twice if he is telling the truth and he will drop his eyes to the floor, say no and then proceed to tell me the truth.  At that point I always congratulate him on telling me the truth and then talk to him about why telling fibs isn’t a good idea, which seems to do the trick for a few days at least.  When it comes to Little Bean though, she is quite the little actress so you have to be very clever to catch her out.  Sometimes I think she actually believes she is telling the truth when she isn’t and it’s really hard to know when to believe her.  I don’t want to accuse her and make her feel that I am down on her all of the time but at the same time I don’t want her to think I am a pushover.

Parenting seems like really hard work at the moment, I love my babies more than life itself, they are my everything but because I love them so much it hurts even more when things aren’t going so well.  Even Jelly Bean is starting to push things at the moment, his latest trick is to slap me in the face when I am holding him.  I tell him “no” in a firm voice, to which he normally laughs and then slaps me again.  I say “no” again and put him down on the floor to which he throws a huge tantrum.  Then when I pick him up, he slaps me again so we’re back to square one.

I sometimes feel like life is all pretty, pink and fluffy inside my head.  I go out of my way to make plans for fun things to do as a family only for 70% of them to fall flat on their face because either the plans don’t come off in the first place or one or more of the children misbehaves, throws a tantrum or expects more than we have been able to provide.  Maybe it’s time I stopped trying, perhaps I’m spoiling them and creating my own little animals?????

It does get easier, right?

6 comments to What do you do when you know your child keeps telling lies to you?

  • Hey.

    My daughter is exactly 22 months right now and pretty much living out the terrible twos (I hope). We have had the smacking face between 12-18 months to which I literally removed her from the room until she calmed down. Right now we have the “if I want it I should have it” phase which basically means a lot of shouting, throwing herself on the floor and head butting anything in proximity. Then telling me ouch because it’s obviously my fault. She is hardly eating and moody as hell. You’re not alone. I’m there with you in spirit, holding my cuppa with white knuckles, trying not to shout AGAIN and praying for bedtime!

    • Aw thank you for your comment, my heart goes out to you too. I keep telling myself that it’s good that my daughter is so headstrong and I shouldn’t break her spirit but I seriously wish she wouldn’t test it all out on me :( I hope your situation improves soon too x

  • My 19 month old is a kicker. He thinks it’s horizontal bouncing and delights in yelling ‘bouncing!’ as he kicks me in the breastbone or stomach as I change his nappy. I’ve tried the gentle ‘no, we don’t kick’ and ‘no, that’s not nice’, progressed to the stern ‘no!’ and gently but firmly holding his legs down, whilst just looking at him straight-faced but everything is met with laughter and more kicking as soon as you let go. It’s not easy is it? I know he understands no, but he’s not quite old enough to deal with consequences… Likewise he grins and sweetly says ‘noooooo’, when I ask him if he did something he shouldn’t. It’s funny but not funny all at the same time. Like you, I wonder if I’m making a rod for my own back and maybe he does need to be spoiled and permanently entertained a little less? I’m still trying to find a way of circumnavigating the imminent ‘terrible twos’ but I don’t fancy my chances! This could get messy… My mother tells me I was a ‘little madam’ and I’ve turned out okay (I hope!) and I’m sure it will all get easier for us too. If not, there is always wine and Sherlock on iplayer…

  • Oh lovely, we all go though these periods when we think we did something wronga nd the result is that children misbehave or lie. I am also a very “shouty” mum, and as Isabelle is getting older she is becoming also more stuborn and does not listen as she used to. It drives me crazy. She also uses “daddy” to get back to me as he is rarely home, which does not help as he only sees me shouting but does not see how she manipulates him…. I keep on thinking if she is starting to be jealous of Olivia again as she gets away with things… but we always explain it is as she is little, maybe we will have to start be more strict with Olivia. Hope you feel better about things soon, thinking of you.

    • Aw thank you for your kind words Mirka, I am finding things very difficult at the moment and I do fear for my relationship with Little Bean especially since she is my only daughter. I have a great relationship with my Mum and I am frightened that I will not get to experience that with Little Bean as she grows up. I don’t want to become one of those Mums that their daughter says “oh I don’t get on with my Mum” it would break my heart xx

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