How has children affected your friendships?

FriendsFirst and foremost I wouldn’t exchange my children for all the friends in the world, I love my children with every bone in my body and they will always come first.  But that being said, I do miss my friends and parts of my pre-baby life.  Before Little Bean and Beanie Boy came along we had a pretty good social life, we would go out clubbing just as a couple, on work’s nights out and with other couples and we miss that.  I certainly wouldn’t want to go out all of the time now, I’d be too tired for one thing but I don’t understand why some people automatically write you off their invitation lists when having parties and get-togethers?  Is it that we are now too boring to party with?  Do we only have one topic of conversation?  I don’t think we talk incessantly about our children, yes they are a major part of our lives but we have other interests too and we still know how to have a good time.

FriendsLast weekend we were lucky enough to be invited to two parties, sadly like a bus, you wait ages for one to come along and then you get two at the same time.  Last Saturday we were invited to two 40th Birthday Parties on the same night and not even in the same town.  Because we loved both the birthday people we decided to go to both and thankfully both had invited the children too.  Despite having to drive an hour in one direction for the first party, stay for just over an hour and then drive an hour back for the second party we all had a really good evening.  The children were brilliant and had lots of fun despite their very late night and Hubby and I enjoyed being part of an adult social event again.  Heck, me and Hubby even got to have our first slow dance since our ‘First Dance’ at our wedding 4 years ago because our friends looked after the tiddlers!!  We danced, we chatted and we let our hair down, we were all shattered the next day but who cares, isn’t that what Sundays are all about?

We are very lucky in that my Mum will often tell us to have a night out and she will look after the children but most of the time we end up just going to the cinema or out for a meal on our own because we don’t have friends to do things with or those that we do/did have are off enjoying themselves with other childless couples.  Some friends I haven’t seen since before Beanie Boy was born and that makes me so sad, I know that everyone is busy with their lives but sites like Facebook just rub it in when you see that they have had parties or nights out where once upon a time you would have been invited and this time you didn’t even get a look in.  Is it time to say goodbye to old friendships and start looking for new ones I wonder?

6 Comments

  1. mumtoc
    August 13, 2011 / 5:46 pm

    You’re all welcome to come over here any time. We can get a babysitter and we should go out and have a boogey! Would be a great laugh xxx

    • mummymatters
      August 13, 2011 / 8:38 pm

      Sounds like a good plan to me xx

  2. August 13, 2011 / 6:14 pm

    I feel exactly the same. Having moved about so much all my friends live dotted about the country and the friends I do have in my area don’t have children and we don’t see them very much. While I wouldn’t change my daughter for anything, I’m still young (ish!) and still want to go out and let my hair down every now and then. I have met lots of friends through having my daughter but it’s more of a day time thing and occasionally I just want a blow out night!

    • mummymatters
      August 13, 2011 / 9:24 pm

      There’s no ‘ish’ about it, you ARE still young!! I think that’s why we all enjoyed Cybermummy so much too, it was a kind of guilty pleasure enjoying time out without the little ones!!

  3. August 13, 2011 / 9:02 pm

    It has affected my friendships with friends who don’t have children, in that we often can’t go out with them anymore as we never have a babysitter, or they live too far away just to pop over with kids.

    With friends with children we have just adapted how we see them, sometimes just go to each others houses for dinner and take the kids along and put them to bed there, whereas before we would’ve been in the pub.

    I miss my friends from work as I never get to see them 🙁

    • mummymatters
      August 13, 2011 / 9:22 pm

      It is sad that some friendships do not stand the test of time and children isn’t it. I know that when one leaves they are normally replaced by another but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less does it!

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