Breaking Point?

And so the battle with Little Bean and food continues, but I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take.  I have probably bored most of my readers to death on the topic of “my daughter won’t eat” and I’ve had some lovely responses from parents who must be far stronger than me.  I’ve always considered myself to be strong but lately I’m questioning that because I wonder if this next thing is going to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back?

Little Bean has always been the worst of eaters but now we’re reaching an all time low and I don’t know which way to turn.  Last week she didn’t eat tea 5 out of 7 nights and went to bed on an empty, yes that’s right, an empty stomach!!!  Tonight we sat at the table for over 90 minutes but at least she ate half of the plate.  By plate I mean half of the 3 chicken nuggets that I had put on her plate.  I feel ashamed typing that on my blog because although I’m not the best of cooks, I actually don’t want my daughter to eat that kind of rubbish, I’d love to be able to write “my daughter only ate half of her roast dinner” or “half of her roasted stuffed peppers . . .” but I can’t because all that she will eat is junk food, plain and simple.  If it isn’t covered in batter or breadcrumbs she won’t eat it, if it doesn’t resemble chocolate or at best a fruit puree she’s not interested.  In the last month she has started a new game with her food, she stores it in her cheek!!!  Not for 5 or 10 minutes, she will store it in her cheek for hours or until we spot it and tell her to spit it out.  I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve tried pretending that I don’t care whether she eats it or not, I’ve tried being firm, I’ve tried bribery, I’ve tried eating away from the table, I’ve tried picnics in the garden, eating at friend’s houses, eating at school, I’m completely lost and just wish that a fairy would wave their magic wand and make it all better.

IMAG0062We have seen Paediatricians and Dieticians, the Paediatricians tell us that she is fine and it will correct itself over time.  The Dieticians tell us to just keep offering different foods.  But she won’t even ‘try’ new foods, anything new that is put in front of her is greeted with “don’t like it” without it touching her lips.  She even gets upset when we give Beanie Boy new foods and he accepts them all happily.

My fear is that she has a very unhealthy attitude towards food and I don’t want this to develop into an eating disorder as she grows up.  I cringe inside as mealtimes approach because I know what is ahead of me.  Tonight I tried getting the paints out before tea and doing them at the table whilst her tea cooked so that she was relaxed, all was going well until the minute I put the plate down in front of her and then came the face and pushing the plate around the table.

I wrote on here a couple of weeks ago that she had been diagnosed with Slapped Cheek and that she didn’t seem herself, but I thought by now this would have resolved itself.  Her pre-school key-workers have commented that she is very quiet and not at all the usual bubbly little girl that they see.  She has been crying at the drop of a hat, this morning she had a major meltdown because Daddy told her it was time to get dressed, he didn’t shout at her, he didn’t interrupt anything that she was doing, he just said it was time to get dressed.  She is being especially cuddly at the moment too, she just seems to want me all the time but on the whole is just very quiet.  My Little Bean is normally full of beans, a very happy little girl who is a pleasure to be around and I want her back.

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8 Comments

  1. June 23, 2011 / 7:21 pm

    I’ve read this and feel total sympathy, Isla isn’t a great eater and is also of the school of thought that unless it has bread crumbs on it it isn’t worth bothering with (oh unless it’s jelly, ice cream, chocolate or comes out of a rustly packet – they they’re all ‘good’ things to eat in her book!). The one saving grace is that she does love all fruit and I console myself with the fact that she gets lots of goodness from that and I hope to god that she does grow out of her fussiness. It’s hard not to lose the plot over it though isn’t it and everyone (family and friends) all have their opinions too which makes it harder. I tell myself these are all phases…. xxx

    • mummymatters
      June 23, 2011 / 9:04 pm

      Oh thank you, its nice to know I’m not alone. I just wish this ‘phase’ would hurry up and finish. The only fruit she will eat is banana but you literally have to follow her around the house with it and say “bite” its such hard work! xxx

  2. Beth
    June 23, 2011 / 8:51 pm

    Hiya
    Absolutely rubbish about Little Bean’s lack of eating still. I can’t really give any advice as haven’t been through it, but know that you’re trying all the right things and although it’s hard work, one day, something will click and work with her.
    The only things I can think of is playing with food – but know you’ve tried that and getting her making stuff – but know you’ve also tried that.
    All I would say is that if you are very worried about it (Which I know you are!) then go back to the docs and try and see the dietician again or something and stress the problem to them. Not sure if it’ll help, but it might.

    Hope you are all alright besides that!
    Set a date in the summer hols for a get together?

    Beth xxx

    • mummymatters
      June 23, 2011 / 9:02 pm

      Thanks, its such a hard situation and I’m sure my readers are sick to death of reading about it. I just feel very alone with it all now.

      Definitely must get a date in the diary, perhaps we could even manage two during the summer hols?
      xxx

  3. Jodie Smith
    June 23, 2011 / 9:21 pm

    That must be so hard. The only other thing I can think of that they did in house of tiny tearaways is getting the kids involved in making the food – have you tried that? My dd wouldn’t eat peas until we podded some and she thought that was quite fun. Make your own (healthy?) pizzas.

    TBH if she’s now storing food and then spitting it out I’d take her back to the drs and if you’re comfortable with it demand to see a child psychologist? This is beyond fussy eating, it’s a real issue and it needs dealing with. You poor thing. I don’t know why some kids are like this and make life hell for us poor parents.

    Hugs xxx

  4. Susan Eardley
    June 23, 2011 / 9:39 pm

    This is an awful situation, feel so much for you. My neice is exactly the same and the biggest thing we’ve discovered over the years is that it is very much linked to getting attention from her mummy. This may sound mean, but what worked with her was totally ignoring it. We did daily talking – today we’re going to have X for lunch and Y for tea. Gave the whole family the same meal, and gave a 1 hour time limit for each meal. Only fruit / healthy small snacks between. Any fussing was totally ignored, but trying and eating given major praise! It took a lot of doing, and her mum and dad had to be really strong and together on it, but it was so worth it! Even now at 9, you see her slipping back when she’s in a bad mood and wants mummys attention, but they don’t give in! Try to relax – it will get better I’m sure! She’s a beautiful little girl, your very lucky!

  5. Jo
    June 24, 2011 / 12:21 am

    first of all big hugs hunni ((xx)) I know EXACTLY what you’re going through, we’ve always had food issues with J. As you know, like you we’ve tried everything to try to get him to eat, have you tried play therapy? We’ve had very minor success with that, we started playing with foods that I knew he liked, (even though it’s junk), and every now and then we just pop a new food on the plate to play with. Sometimes, not very often but sometimes he has eaten what he’s playing with. We also started leaving snacks around for him to nibble on as and when he felt like it, again not great I know but every now and then he would pick something up and nibble on it. Other than that hunni I’m all out of ideas but Jodie’s advice (above) is also what I’d probably go with, maybe the pizza’s, (cookies are also great because you can add all sorts of things to them too) 😉 And I’d maybe look at seeing a child psychologist, J has and a Speechy and OT, they may have some ideas.

    But big hugs, let me know if you have any luck……… you’re not alone xxxxx

  6. Heidi summers
    June 3, 2012 / 6:59 am

    Its such hard work when they are little and have difficulty with diet I went through it all with my daughter and we saw dieticians and child phscologists and the paediatrician as she wasn’t gaining weight ! All I can say is don’t focus on it at all she will ask to eat when she is hungry and you just have to let her have what she wants even if you feel it is not the healthiest of foods. In time she will develop her tastes in food sometimes it is just immaturity and also attention seeking (don’t feel bad!) it’s just that some children need more attention than you can in reality give them x the sad thing is that the attention they receive for not eating isn’t the nice positive attention so just ignore the negative stuff with food and praise praise praise the positive xxx don’t stress over it and things will gradually get a little better xxxxx

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